I am one of those people that absolutely love what I do, but at the end of the month I have bills to pay. So where as some of us do love our jobs, we all still need the electricity on, food on the table, gas in the tank and perhaps a bit of savings. A former employer once told me they sought after only those persons who wanted to work for the passion involved, and wouldn’t even consider hiring anyone looking more for the money. I thought to myself that’s all well and good, but here you are meanwhile withdrawing close to a thousand dollars nearly everyday. He shopped at the very best stores, went out to dinner at very pricey restaurants and drove a car which was worth more than some peoples homes.

I do believe that people should be paid what they are worth and I do believe their skills should be rewarded, but this person was living handsomely as he paid his employees pennies. I was always told how valuable of an asset I was to the corporation, but my weekly paycheck was barely enough to meet my monthly bills. He tried to keep us in check by keeping the fear that at any minute our paychecks could disappear at any minute. There was always stories about a new guy he met that is just itching for a job. The loyalty my fellow staff members and I was unquestionable, but his loyalty was derived from how much work he could get out of us for how little pay. Our reviews for pay-raises came once a year and I will never forget how hard I worked for them that year.

I continuously was told how I went above and beyond what was expected. The praises came in every day. I took the business from virtual mom and pop status to International Mega-Stardom. Every day leading right into review time I was ranked the best among the best. You’re going to go far, stick with us, blah, blah blah. The company originally promised me a large salary and loads of benefits, however, since the office I was taking over was situated in a repressed area of the country, what I was currently making as a floor manager (the lowest on the scale in New Jersey) far exceeded anything anyone made in West Virginia, where they were transferring me to. I took it as an opportunity to prove my value and just how much I believed in what I was doing, after all I was a team player. Back then I had so much loyalty for the companies I worked for that I put them before everything else including myself.

I’ll never forget that fateful day when the national manager of the company came into town to review my performance over the past year. Exceeded all expectations! I was given the task to get the companies largest office, missing every company goal, failing miserably, a 250 seat facility operating with 25 employees turned around. I had one year to do it or the office would be shuttered. The owners brother personally told me that he didn’t believe I could do it. Not only did I do it, but it was completely overhauled and we excelled in every area within three months. I was operating with 500 employees and if you weren’t there at least 2o minutes early you would lose your seat for the shift. Where we used to have 2 shifts we took it up to 4 shifts and operated 17 hours a day. It was an amazing turn-around and I was awarded Manager of the Year out of 60 other offices. I was expecting a raise that spoke of my achievements. Needless to say that when the National Manager said their were certain changes in the industry that were proposed before congress that might hurt the industry if passed I knew there was going to be a BIG disappointment.

The national manager told me how I was going to be compared to all the other managers pay in the region and my pay would commensurate with the average of this region. The very same region that was struggling with the same managers that had not only failed in their offices, but were the very same ones who had previously ran my office into the ground. I was in for a HUGE shock! I was told with the current deductions in pay that all the other managers had received in the same position I was in that my pay far exceeded ever other manager. So you’re telling me I’m not going to get a raise, not based on the merits of my work, but based on the margin of error (the bell curve) of every sorry excuse of a manager that you hired and trained, that has nothing at all to do with me whatsoever? His answer threw me for a loop especially considering by this point I was not going to get a raise. Well no JunkyFungus, I’m afraid you are making to much money for your position in this region and I am going to have to deduct a percentage of your pay to bring you into fair standards of other managers in the same region.

That wasn’t the only smack in the face that day though. I guess when he saw my jaw drop, my fist clinch so hard, knuckles turning white, my nails digging into my palm cutting into my skin, drawing blood, he felt obligated to say that I was still considered amongst the best paid in the area. All I had to do to remind me why my pay was still awesome in this area was to drive into town and take a look around to see how others were living and the disparity of how they lived and what they earned to my own pay. I left that job and last I heard that office was closed within a year after my departure and just last week all the managers who put loyalty towards the company first, even before their own selves were fired. From what I understand the owners sold out and the company wanted young fresh talent to take the company even further. I think its important to always remember that the company will always try and sell you the dream. Its the big-picture you’re after. Its the reward at the end that drive you forward. It should never be about your paycheck, anyone working for their paycheck is at the wrong job.

I’ll never forget that day when I was told to go check out how others were living, because in fact it did teach me something worth incredible value. First and foremost be loyal to yourself, but even more important you should love what you do, but never settle for the absolute nonsense that the owners of these companies are working because they love what they do and would do it even if it didn’t make them rich. If that was the case why are they becoming rich off all your effort and toil and not turning around and providing the proper means for you to earn a living. It always seems very funny that they are making so much money and yet their employees live in squalor all the while being sold the dream. The dream that always seems a bit out of reach. The dream that does not provide the family with enough food to eat, enough money to take the family to paradise when paradise is right down the street. They tell you to love your job and be happy at what you do, but pay them pennies. I’ve seen Cancun today, I’ve seen the huts where families of 7 sleep with dirt floors. Both mother and father and any children old enough all work because they LOVE what they do, bringing home their weekly earnings rarely enough to make it through a few days let alone the week. I hear those that tell you to keep working hard all the while withdrawing thousands a day. Times are tough, don’t work for the money, work because its your passion. I am bewildered how if its passion that drives you how can you allow those that are so poor to be in your employ?

If ever you don’t believe there are those who work for so little, a whole lot less that you do, take a vacation to paradise on Earth like Cancun. Drive to the areas that tourists are encouraged to never see. Your eyes will open up to just how some people really do live. and yes most of these people are very happy. Not happy because they love what they do, they are happy because they have integrity and honor and family and most importantly they have faith. There are some very good companies and people out there making the world a better place. These are not the companies that make the world better for their customers by indenturing those that work for them, they empower those that work for them so that they may empower the customers. A cycle of progressive forward thinkers willing to share not only the opportunity to make money, but actually sharing the money. If you want to see poverty go see it so that you can build a better world by empowering others to make a better world. Take the lessons you learn so that we can together make a better world and provide not only words of opportunity but actual opportunity.

It always amazes me when people try and decipher words rather than just read them for what they are. I will say this though, this is the JunkyFungus blog. If you don’t like it your only option is to NOT read it. Really that simple! Friends can be more dangerous than enemies…

Jules: I’ll just walk the earth.
Vincent: What’cha mean walk the earth?
Jules: You know, walk the earth, meet people… get into adventures. Like Caine from “Kung Fu.”

We all seek this, and for many different reasons, however I believe most of us seek peace from that which haunts us. The proverbial skeleton in the closet. I do know that all of us have these skeletons and they take shape in our appearance, how we speak to one another, the way we treat others and even how we go about to hurt each other. It’s unfortunate that there are people, sad people, who go about life with misery on their shoulders looking to gather those around them who are miserable, but they don’t stop there. Misery does love company and sometimes its about making others miserable around you so they can always keep in company.

Everyone who knows me, knows that I will bend over backwards to help a person out. I am good natured, always smiling and as the saying goes “Happy Go Lucky.” I believe and practice the Universal Law of Attraction, except maybe I call it God, the Omnipotent all loving force that gives onto those whatever they desire. I desire love and happiness in life!

Then we have those who strive to look for the conspiracy, who look for the bad, who seek out the injustice, the ill, the poor, meager and weak, but not so they can alter their surroundings and make it right, no these are the ones who dwell on the bad. They are the ones who feed off of badness and evil, the ones who call each other names and wish ill will towards others. The irrational, the degenerates of the world who hide behind pretty looking lies that are encrusted with jagged broken glass dripping with the filth of their pitifulness. They are wicked in their intentions and look to bring others into their rotten existence.

These are the ones who strive to bring those who achieve greatness down. They are the ones who take up positions of imaginary authority to bring others down. I know very many who serve in the military for noble reasons, I know police officers who serve to protect, civil servants who go about helping and living a life of poverty to help others elevate theirs. Then we have those who take these same positions to punish the weak, enslave the poor, to bring misery company. Their Misery! I do not concede to allow you to destroy others and I vow with all my heart and soul that I will shine my light, the light of truth and justice in your oh so dark corner. Your decrepit shallow hole in the world, illuminating you for what you are, so that all may see you and know that your evil shall not prevail. I will walk the Earth and promise that happiness and truth are my mission statement. Conform to the will and the light of justice or wither and die your pitiful selfs.

They spread their lies and hatred as if it were truth. They manipulate and deceive with words believing they have impunity and for too long to many of us have not brought them to justice. The crusade, my crusade, our crusade begins. You will be exposed and I do believe you will slither on your belly away.

I’ll find myself with renewed energy and stamina and ready to change everything bad in life. What’s very abnormal though is when I attempt to use that driving force energy to excel in another area of my life that same energy dwindles and fades as if there is a limited supply. This leads me to believe that will power is a limited source of energy and/or there is an energy blockage. I’m inquisitive if any one of my dear readers experience this same conundrum.

Seriously though it happens every time. I remember right after I quit shooting up heroin into my eyeball (try it, what a great way to hide track marks) I decided it was also a good time to take up teeth brushing. I was off the juice for at least three hours and really had the urge to pick up the tooth brush, but as soon as I did it was like BAM, all of a sudden the next thing you know I have the needle in my eye and shooting a mega-dose of the juice again. The teeth were nice and sparkly clean right before they all fell out!

All joking aside though, no heroin or meth or crack, but it does seem that there are limits to drawing power from will. Does that mean we are all weak in this area or is it just me? I’ve been doing really well with nutrition, taking vitamins and juicing and eating green foods, but whenever I want to do something like going to the gym its a no go. I want to go in the morning but who wants to stay up late like I do and then get up early? I hate early mornings, I mean like hatred with a passion. I plan on going at night and I know full-well that exercise will have to be a part of this lifestyle if I want to succeed. By night time, and I mean about 11, I get tired and something comes up and then I never go. I realize I have to and beat myself up over it, but I still don’t go.

Maybe I’m a bit hesitant to go because I realize, from past experiences, that if I do go to the gym, than my nutritious lifestyle will go to hell. I have a friend, Andrea Albright, who is amazing. You can find her at www.AmazingBodyNow.com for all you female readers and she offers a true unique experience for women to get fit. She’s been there, she was overweight and now she is gorgeous and fit and trim. To bad for me her site is geared towards helping women otherwise I’d be on that. It really is that good and as a guy if you can get over her continuous references to girlfriend and lady and woman then go for it. I’ve read every book there is practically on diet and exercise, most recently the Gabriel Method, which seems intriguing, without having that success switch triggered.

I’ve noticed some correlations in life that cannot be misconstrued as mere coincidence. I know that lately I have felt a bit alone in my quest, as if I am the only one in the world who understands me. This feeling has permeated my mood and lately my friends have suddenly been away thus causing me to be alone. There are times I feel like going out to the bar or Beale Street, but no one is around to go so I reluctantly stay in and end up being alone. Of course my girlfriend is around and I do lo, lov, er umm lo, lo, lo, err like her a real lot:), but now lately she has been going to family and friends away as well. When you feel lonely you will end up being lonely.

The next equation comes from feeling broke. I’m not sure why, perhaps its a lack of water, but lately I have felt tremendously low on the financial scale. With these feelings comes the very real reality that things are hitting hard financially right now. I feel like I am under a mountain of debt and because I am feeling this way, it is coming to be that way. Extenuating circumstances have caused my consulting fees to be delayed on several occasions, not a big deal in its own right, but all the same adding to the feeling of ill-will towards a very manageable situation.

When my mother died it left me $16000 in credit card debyt and every month I pay close to $600 to help pay it off. My ultimate goal is to pay about $2000 a month to eliminate it all together. My school loans are down to only $4000 and other than a few miscellaneous other bills there’s really not much. Heck the house is paid off, but I never imagined myself living in this house. It was bought to provide residual rental income and now I live there with me father. I have lived alone from my father since I was 17 and joined the US Army. I find it extremely difficult to live there in that house and at times I think about getting an apartment. I mean I am willing to move out of my own home to an apartment, you know its got to get under my skin, and it does!

He’s not really a bad guy, but the house is just to small. It would be OK for a couple, or single person, but not son and dad. Did I mention that his compulsive behavior to collect has me extremely worried. I tried to get my summer clothes out of our attic and it is filled top to bottom with junk. I’m not talking junk that you can turn around and sell, but junk that people toss away to Goodwill just to get rid of. In Memphis there is a Goodwill outlet store. This basically means that Goodwill cant sell it in there second hand store, so they bring it out in big giant carts filled with junk into the outlet store. It started as a hobby for dad, just so he could get out and do something, but now its bordering mental illness. He is bringing home only a few bags a week, but the problem with that is there is no outlet to get rid of it. So it packs into the attic, under the beds, in the closets, anywhere there is space and even where there is none to be found. It piles up, more and more until finally someone has to do something about it.

The last couple of years he would have a garage sale, but that’s come to pass as well. They are so much work and take so much time and effort they just are not worth it. Finally after the last time he came to the same conclusion after prepping for a full two weeks and then a full three days of hard-work and not making more than $500 after expenses. I apologize for the rant, but its my blog so tough crap! Deal with it.

I really don’t mind him living with me, but I need my space and I want a BIG house with a restaurant quality kitchen, swimming pool, jacuzzi, big old yard, deck, lots of rooms, basically a mansion. I am unable to do that at this stage unless something changes. Oh and I want a new M6 BMW with the V12, but I can’t without having a garage with plenty of space for all my toys. I like my toys.

I know the direction I must go, and I am on the path, but the question now comes up with other things. Am I in the right forest? Sure I am heading in the right direction but this compels me to ask myself where else I need to make the changes that will ultimately lead me in the direction of my goal.

In the beginning of this year I set a goal that I would make my first million dollars and somehow I seem ever distant from achieving that goal. I know the universe is supposed to unfold before me and my job is not to limit the universe presenting that goal to me, but I also know that I am supposed to focus on achieving that goal. This is where currently I am struggling. How is it I am supposed to be focused on that goal driving myself ever closer when things around me get tougher and tougher.

With my health I know how to achieve it. I can control the foods I eat, the exercise I do, the lifestyle I choose, but with finances it seems so much more impossible, especially when things are not where they need to be. The economy sucks and it is directly affecting my lifestyle. With everything that’s happening I have to ask myself if staying the course is going to pull me away or help me achieve that success I desire.