There are many things you could do to build your inner game up, but unless those steps are applied to real life situations are you simply spinning your wheels? I was reading a post on VAH forum that is interesting and got me to thinking on the progress I have made and what steps I have taken.

When I first started in PUA I originally bought David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating eBook and it taught how to be cocky and funny which in turn built confidence in myself. I remember many years ago (source unknown) reading a paper on women and overcoming shyness. I was never shy with anyone, but I did always have a self value issue. I believed that anyone who could be so beautiful would have to be better than me. This paper I read dispelled that belief by telling me to smack my ass. The feeling I get from smacking my own ass is exactly the same feeling Paris Hilton gets from smacking her own ass. Albeit I have a nicer ass and the blue ribbon to prove it! Of course the analogy used another models name as Paris wasn’t even alive yet, but you get the picture.

I think back now and all the work I have done and 25 years later for the first time I recognize how correct those words actually were. There is a natural progression to human development and for me it was reading DeAngelo’s eBook that changed my life. I was always funny, and knew intrinsically that if I could get a girl to laugh I could get into her pants.

The problem with this ideology is that while laughter is always a commendable trait to carry, it is not by itself a way to a womens panties. No my friends, comedy will get people laughing and get you the reputation of being the funny guy, but without confidence it is simply comedy.

By instilling cocky into the mix and for the first time understanding why I actually opened up a doorway. Just the cocky comedy wasn’t enough though. You can be the cockiest/funniest man alive but again without confidence it means nothing. I new I was on the right path, but I could feel the lacking inside me. My inner game still put women on a higher value than myself and something needed to be done.

I don’t believe I would have taken the plunge and bought David DeAngelo’s Deep Inner Game if I didn’t truly seek change in myself and knew it could be done. The 7 DVD series was a long and arduous journey that began my quest to like myself. It was the first time I can remember, EVER, in my life actually sitting back and liking myself.

I ask members of our lair how many of you actually like themselves? It seems like it would be such an obvious answer, but dig deep and find the answer. Some of you are lying to yourself and others about who you are and what you are doing. It’s easier said then done my friends. So again, sit down and ask yourself if you like who you are?

Another instance of my development has come in being a wingman for my friends. I have learned so much from observations. Again there was a time in my life I was so in despair with who I was any type of IOI from a woman would throw me into a jealous rage if someone else tried to hook up with her. She isn’t my property, I don’t own her. I was so filled with weakness that my mental picture already drawn out was me by myself and her with someone else. After all I believed she had higher value than I.

It’s amazing the progression I have made as a man. DeAngelo’s Deep Inner Game is not recommended for those who are seeking a quick fix. It is a journey that requires work. Work that unless you commit yourself to before you begin will not help you. If you are one of those people who sink money into products in the hopes that your purchase will motivate you I highly recommend you do not buy this product. It’s not for you.

Very soon after utilizing the tool box of Deep Inner Game I remembered that paper I mentioned earlier, the one about smacking your ass. For the first time in my life I took a long-hard look at who I was and what I wanted. I didn’t like myself! It was the most difficult thing I ever did to look in the mirror and stay there and pick out my qualities that I did like. As time passed I began to see a different image of who I was. After much soul-searching I began to emerge as a confident man.

My confidence was earned in my own actions. It took every fiber of my existence to recognize those things I didn’t like about myself and change those feelings of distaste into feelings of complete worthiness and love for myself.

Are there things I would change about myself? NOT A DAMN THING! I love me…

In recognizing the love and adoration I have for myself I begin a new journey where things that aren’t necessarily healthy are changing anyway. I have a weight issue, that is a part of me, but I do not dislike my weight, no in-fact, I love my size, but by loving myself completely these things that I used to strive to change will change anyway. I just have to be me and love what I do, which intrinsically triggers a reaction that provokes healthy change inside of me equaling a greater sense of pride and confidence in myself.

I began to read everything I could about self-image at a very young age and I believe that self-help books can be a detriment to ones own self worth. Our personal images can spiral out of control if by reading self help books we keep telling ourselves that we are not perfect as we are. If we are telling ourselves that we can change and need to change than by proxy we are saying we are not happy who we are and thus cannot unequivocally love ourselves.

The difference in reading books and trying to change is many books have you start and finish on the inside. I believe this to be a fallacy! You can read until your blue in the face, but as Mystery himself preaches, the work is done in the field. Books add structure, but unless you are willing to go out in the field and apply you will fail. When PFC and I talk about failing to succeed I think we erroneously portray our learning from failures when they are not. Success is not bread from failure, it is bred from the strength of going out prepared to find every conceivable way not to do something so the true way to success becomes self-evident.

When we are in set we do not fail, but we learn how not to use a FTC so next time our FTC is stronger until such time as our FTC is perfected. This is not failure by any standards it is success built upon the confident man challenging himself to succeed whatever it takes.

I challenge lair members to ask yourselves if you love yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you love you. Did you say it with meaning?

The next time you see a beautiful babe you want, don’t get AA, just smack your ass and realize she will feel exactly the same thing if she smacked her own ass too. Now visualize you smacking her ass and approach.

You can use many of the tools available to work on your inner game, but truthfully it all starts inside with you recognizing where your faults are and falling in love with those faults. Recognize and love them and they will change themselves.