Many of my readers like to remain anonymous, many to the point of not even posting comments. I find this practice to be a bit strange, but recently it was brought to my attention that I was doing the very same thing. Looking back at this situation I continuously put myself into I never would have guessed it in a million years. Sometimes hearing it from a different perspective is enough to open up our eyes at social failures and encourage us to overcome self-imposed obstacles.
On Friday night I was invited to a Memphis Lair meeting. It had been a while since I had been to the lair website and even longer since I had posted. Working on a forum all day can turn me away from posting any type of results, whether from Pick-Up or Pheromones, but in truth have found myself turning away from many things Pick-Up. To me reading field reports is mundane to my existence and I have been trying to surround myself with socially viable solutions that promise the most value for my buck. I actively read Roissy in DC, Thundercat, Bristol Lair, The Rawness and a few others that I find to add value into my life. Not that others wouldn’t add value, but personally I don’t have a whole lot of time to sort through the crap to get to the good stuff.
Like I was saying, Friday night I was invited to a lair meeting. Now please understand that I really, truly despise the word lair. By definition Lair means and underground place that an animal uses to hide. By the very definition it almost seems that those who ponder social realism’s and attempt to get that area of their lives under control would then by animals who hide. Those who seek to improve in their lives are not animals and should be ALPHA enough to never hide what they do or are attempting to learn. I actively seek knowledge from men and women alike on how to better interact with society. This has enabled me to grow as a man and thus prove more valuable to society, but more importantly myself.
I found myself straying away from those friends who I call friends and honor them by using their knowledge and feeding them knowledge likewise. Friendships are interchangeable leaps of faith in one another. My friendship with members of the lair has been challenged lately, but not by those friends, but by myself instead. I have grown and changed recently. My friendships with PUA gurus has also changed. I have contact with some of the greatest names in Pick-Up and daily calls and meet-ups. I travel the world, have a show in production stages and meet very interesting people, but who is it that keeps me grounded. All of my friends, like myself have faults, I know of no one that really doesn’t. Those who say they don’t show obvious signs of social-disorders and need professional help to free themselves of demons. One friend, and yes he is still a friend, is so caught up in himself he really needs to come down a notch as he is alienating himself from others.
But this is where my title to this blog comes in. Wasn’t I doing precisely this, alienating myself, from my friends in my Pick-Up group, by not posting reports or anything that would be considered value? By my incessant search for value myself, I was moving further and further away from those I have come to call friends. After all friendships are about adding value, without seeking reciprocity or anything else in return. Friendships is the giving of one self absolutely. I learned something in that meeting that I never learned from talking to master gurus over this past year.
Humility is important in life when you want nothing in return, but as humans is this really even possible? Can we really not want something in return for those things we do? I forget who said what, or even if it was said by anyone, other than myself. I learned a valuable lesson that night, if you want social proof to work for you, than you need to use the social proof. Prophetic, it is not, but how many guys really understand it. I bet right now there are many readers thinking they get it, but when time comes to go out and use social proof they end up use it wrong and thus not use it at all.
During the meeting I told everyone that my sticking point to this day is opening sets in bars. How difficult I find it to say anything to all those pretty young things waiting for the JunkyFungus to bed them. I explained that I have mad social proof in some downtown bars. I have slept with several servers in one particular bar and every time I go there I never use it to my advantage. It hit me like a ton of bricks at that moment. By the grace of the God of Gab I have been blessed with amazing charisma. I can talk to anyone about anything. I never have a problem talking to guys in bars, so why women? What social conditioning breaks me down and limits my social skills in talking with babes in a bar? No issues in BuckyStars, so why not the bar?
The bricks were heavy and left a mark on my intellect. I realized I wasn’t using social proof to my advantage and thus not using it at all. Whenever I went into the bar I always found a guy or two to creep in between and say hi to the bartender, whom I slept with and order some drinks. She is always so accommodating to my game and says crazy great stuff like I never loved you, I only used you for sex! Geez, talk about making things easier.
On friday I sought her out and just before I creaped in between two guys I found the tightest spot between two babes and wedged my way between them. I smiled at them and commented how tight the space was with a big knowing smile. My bartender came over and immediately gave me the warmest smile. It was like she knew what I was up to. She said I’ll serve you the drinks tonight, but you’re not allowed to talk to me and left. The ladies on either side must of thought something was up. My bartender came back and gave me my beer and then said that she was sick and tired of me seducing her and taking her home. She was tired of me using her like some type of trophy for the night and then never telling her I love her. great stuff. The sets on either side of me opened me. I didn’t have to do a thing.
All I can say guys if you can get a bartender or waitress to hug you or tease you about sexual innuendo, you will never have to worry about opening sets. Sure I got blown out of some sets, but not because I was timid about opening sets, rather I was seen as a player. Me a player! Guys use social proof to your advantage. It’s always better to have people interact with women than not.
As always feedback is welcome:)
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