ALPHA Addiction and the Chronic Chin to Chest Syndrome!

It was about two weeks ago that I was heading out and I called him. He told me to give him a ring when I was headed his way so I did. I called him and he said he was out to dinner but by the time I got to his house he would be back. I kind of figured he would be late but I needed to make a call and that would give me sufficient time to do so. I arrived at his house and called him to let him know I was there. He called and said he was still at dinner and would be leaving soon. Just what I expected so I made my call and completed it in fifteen minutes. I waited another 15 minutes and he was still no where in sight. I decided I needed to call my friend again and he was still at the restaurant and apparently they had just brought the bill. After I had already waited for 30 minutes I decided that accepting ones lateness was OK once in a while, after all friends can sometimes be late, but this was a reckless display of ones value system towards others and that I do not accept.

Like anyone would who values their own system of belief and themselves as a person I left. He called after I was already on my way to my girlfriends house about 30 minutes later and asked where I was. I could hear the background noise of the restaurant and this guy hadn’t even left yet and still expected me to be around. I told him I was on my way to my girls house and maybe next time. To tell the truth at the time I figured on writing it off to the universe and letting it go. While I decided that I would not dwell on it I also wasn’t going to place myself into that situation with anyone ever again.

I value my time and I have the desire to achieve whatever success that I focus my energies on. I believe desire and faith must be key elements in success and therefore value my time as precious. Every second of life must be used to enhance the next second with pure positive energy and not wasted on negative stress energy.

So, back to last night. I called my friend during the day and extended an invite out that night. I was going out anyway and was being nice. He has a habit of telling you where he is and to call him when you’re headed his way. Well I was headed out to Cooper Young so I guess he thought I was headed his way, but I was going there anyway. When I got there it was perfect. I got the very first spot in the lot, a great table looking up at the big screen to watch the game and Kaila (the leggy blond) as my waitress. I ordered myself a Blue Moon and started chatting it up with some people. The table next to me was there for an office Birthday Party. Two girls came in with panties over their pants as a sorority pledge. I talked to Monica and Amanda who were having fun. I talked to quite a few people just being social. I ordered myself a pizza and damn it was mighty good.

After I good half hour I called my friend to see if he was even going to come as he was at a party and I realistically didn’t expect him to show. I guess with time you lose that faith in someone when they continue on a path that devalues you. I would have been OK with it, but wanted to know because I was ready to focus my energy on socializing more so that later in the night I would have had people to be sociable with. My friend did show up and he apparently had drank to much at his party. He said there was still about ten people there after he left.

I offered to get him a shot, a drink a beer, whatever but he did take me up on some pizza, I couldn’t blame him as Young Avenue Deli makes a damn fine pizza. After about ten minutes his energy was draining quick. I tried to liven it up, but I guess he was drinking all day and it can sack the energy out of you. That wasn’t the main issue I had last night. He asked Kaila if she had any aspirin, but she didn’t. The energy was draining faster and faster, or was it? You see at this point he put his chin to his chest and never looked up the rest of the night!

What could be causing such a debilitating disease that causes the neck to no longer support the head that your chin permanently attach itself to your chest? The poor guy, his arms were twitching and he could no longer utter a single coherent word except…Except that it wasn’t a strange disease. He was actually texting the people he had just left. He muttered that after he had left the party the party ended. I am assuming he mentioned this to claim his prowess as an ALPHA male whom without, there would be no party. He said that his party friends were going somewhere else and if I wanted to go. There were plenty of people there and many were friendly, I even pointed put the girls in the lingerie who really seemed as if they wanted someone to talk to. It was tough for me to keep them both occupied and if I had a wing-man I could have, well I could have taken it further. He said they were too young, but I guess they stopped checking ID at the door considering it was a bar.

I tried to be conversational, I tried to get my friend to break his focus from texting and to realize as he sat there chin to chest life was going on all around him. Finally I had enough and I paid my bill, told him I was leaving and that was that. He said he was going to where his other friends were and that I should come. I told him I was headed to my girls, which I was, and to have a nice time.

Even though I said I wouldn’t expel the energy on it I still wondered about it on my way to my girlfriends. Was there something that I was doing wrong to be socially rejected by someone I consider a friend? I really had to think about it to realize that the fundamental flaw was not in myself. In fact I am socially sound and this fact is reinforced whenever I go out with my friends. Take for instance this very night as I sit here at BuckyStars writing this blog. When I walked in I am immediately greeted with a big hey JunkyFungus by every Barista and then a lengthy conversation always entails. Yes they know me, but surely they know a lot of their regular customers and I never here more than just a hello. I am a social animal and wherever I go I enjoy myself enough so that I don’t have to spend the entire night looking down at my phone texting others.

I have come to the conclusion that my friend is addicted to being ALPHA at the very expense of being ALPHA. Hence whenever you call him he now just tells you to call when you are heading his way. I am not heading your way. The other day I mentioned a new project to him and his reply was to call if I needed advice. Friends offering advice, like my other friend who has substantially backed it up with concise information and a willingness to share of information now on several occasions, is welcome, but saying something with zero qualification is a sign of ALPHA addiction. Normally I would trust my friends but it is apparent that trust is lacking when friends cant spend any time with you without having to text their other friends on somewhere else to go.

This brings me to my next point. I believe that when someone is idolized as the ALPHA male of the group and then hanging out with those who do not see them that way they will tend to seek the refuge of those who do see them that way. In other words why hang out with those who don’t see you as ALPHA when you can hang with those who do idolize you? In my humble view it is apparent that being ALPHA for some is such an addiction that by the very act of being addicted to it leaves much room to becoming an ALPHA.