This is part 1 of a very large INTENSE interview I did with Shiva of www.SGMS.info. I consider Shiva my Inner Game Guru, as a lifelong student of Life Artistry. I personally like to call my personal development Life Artistry rather than Pick Up Artist as it is a limiting tag. Life Artistry covers all of life’s lessons and as a student of the world I encourage you to never limit yourself in one direction.

In this, part 1, section we learn of Shiva’s upbringing and how he came to realize he was seeking validation, acceptance and social proof. Shiva demonstrates that ultimately seeking validation from outside sources can be damaging to ones inner game.

The world has so many sides and beliefs it has become crucial to my development to embrace all of what it has to offer. Perhaps the best explanation I can give of my view of the world would be for you, my dear friend, to read and study the Tao Te Ching. Perhaps the most brilliant take on life ever recorded.

My hope is that you can learn from this interview series and gain a better understanding of your life and the lives of those around you. Harnessing Your Inner Game is not intended to be medical advice, it is simply your average mans journey of self discovery. Please enjoy and live your life happy in the now moment.

This is a response to a post on PheroTalk Forum that I do not feel appropriate, for personal reasons, posting on the actual forum
You may read the entire thread here: : Why would someone do this? Am I bad person?

My reply, is a direct reply to mark-in-dallas’ post quoted below:

Darlin, I almost called Mara. I don’t think they hate me over there at this point, but I don’t know how much good it would have done either. She knows I’m here and knows that I’ve stayed neutral in the war, but I really don’t have any weight over there either.

Mara is an awesome lady though, and you can tell her I said so!

I’ve heard that as well Mark:). She sounds pretty cool and I wanted to check out the product there: LovePotionPerfume. I was saddened when I got banned from her site for no reason. I mean, I didn’t even get a chance to post!

I thought it would be best to read up, just like I did on PheromoneTalk and every other forum I belong to, when I joined. I didn’t spoof my IP and used an email address that I clearly own so I wasn’t trying to hide anything. I certainly didn’t go there to try and rub someones nerves raw, like the thread I am responding to has broken down into.

When I got banned It didn’t surprise me one bit! People talk a great game about love and respecting one another and all the while they are secretly talking and plotting behind each others back and I certainly do NOT mean this happens only at one forum or the other. I was pissed off that someone would actually go to those lengths to watch who registers. All the posts and threads about lying and waiting to strike with masked IP’s, at LovePotionPerfume, well that did surprise me. I always have heard how loving, accommodating and well wishing everyone one is there. Please understand that in no way is this saying that it only happens over there. I mean really, just read the SteveO put the S back into Sexi… thread at PheromoneTalk and it certainly opens up eyes to the bad in some peoples hearts. Needless to say, yeah but I’m saying it anyway, that I was shocked and appalled at the ill-intent spewed at PheromoneTalk as well. I was pretty sure that I understood the rules at PheromoneTalk since I was always told to treat it like a party atmosphere. If it didn’t go at a party, it didn’t go there either. LOL, I’m not sure where some people go to party, but please don’t invite me if that’s the idea of a party.

When I mentioned the Laws Of Attraction (LOA) in a thread someone told me in private that they were told I didn’t know what I was talking about. Correct me if I’m wrong; what you think about and do most is EXACTLY what you attract into your life. If you think about, write about, plot about it, all the while doing the very same thing; you get exactly that back. Am I innocent and perfect? No, but at least I do not redefine the very meaning of what I say I believe in to suite the flavor of the day.

With that said, I could also understand why some people wanting to go off and start their own little private forum. I really hope it is a place that, in the Hosts own words:

please be comfortable posting anything as you would like to, with only RESPECT to any and all involved.

I wish them well. I do hope that I can myself join anonymously and post about those pheromone products I am currently unable to without bias. This leads me into my next point.

There seems to be a whole lot of conflicting information, or misinformation spreading. The more I read, the more I have to question the validity of MANY claims. All the marketing hype, all the underhanded deeds, all the hate-fueled words of anger and just pure evil is just bewildering to me. Michael Harris is talking about having to escape the USA, land of capitalism and apparently without room for pheromone research companies. I just don’t understand how other pheromone companies survive! He says innovation is a serious risk due to all the frivolous lawsuits, but this goes right back to my above paragraph on LOA. Clearly a company focusing all their efforts on a positive impact, of making the world a better place would have a place in this world. I don’t get it! I’m sure a man, that many would strive to elevate themselves just to get to his level, will be able to come up with a way to do business wherever he damn well pleases without fear of reprisal.

I guess in this world we live in though there are just some evil doers. I even remember hearing at least a few people I know who said my post about the tragic passing of David Carridine was about them. Umm hello, if you believed it was about you, than you must have a very poor image of yourself or maybe it is you… Let me ease their minds: I was sad to hear about the “suicide death” of a childhood hero. There are so many influences of evil coming from every side its mind boggling. To think a man who seemed like he had life in the palm of his hand, without any known provocation or history of mental problems would one day, out of the blue, up and end his life. Very sad indeed. I urge those who still believe it is about them to seek emergency psychiatric help now.

Unfortunately I’ve learned there are way to many people being deceitful and spreading viscous rumors and the worse part about it: it all seems like its based on making a buck! When people don’t care who they hurt, how many lies they spread, who gets caught in the cross fire (mob mentality) it just goes to show you the level people will sink to. Look what Michael Harris said what someone did to Jasmin’s kids. That is just pathetic! I am a firm believer in the Golden Rule: Due onto others as you would have them due onto you.

Although I could never understand how it is to appreciate a mothers love for her children (I have personally witnessed Jasmin’s love for her children and there is not a question in my mind that she is an amazing mother) I also have experienced personal attacks and against my family, but I do NOT accept the victim mentality. I refuse to allow a horrible situation to dictate my life. My situation is VERY different from Jasmin’s though as hers revolve around her kids. My love and well wishes goes out to Jasmin, but more importantly her children. I was blessed to spend many hours with that baby girl and boy and they are just loved, loved, loved and as such are loving, loving, loving. With an ongoing investigation I will not say more, but I will close this paragraph out with a silent prayer to the good Lord that her issues are resolved and whomever the guilty is that they are punished accordingly.

Well its 3:34 A.M. and I’m just blabbering about all this, but jeez, we have all this fighting and paranoia going on against so many companies. It’s hard to fathom an entire industry made out of just downright bad people with just a very select couple that are trying to do the right thing, and even those are now getting low down and dirty. Customers are actually drawing lines in the sand claiming loyalty to one company over another, but the really scary thing is, since when is a company more important than the human element? Are we all getting dragged into a big shit storm of hatred being perpetrated by an evil manipulative hack, whose identity is hidden that is looking to destroy lives–all over greed? Scary to fathom an idea as such!

I’ve been repeatedly told how this guy and that guy are just horrible and because of my loyalty to APR perhaps I’ve been completely blinded as well. Now that’s not to say it isn’t the truth, but isn’t it my responsibility to find out that truth? I’ve always believed there are three sides to every story: Your side, His side, and somewhere in between the TRUTH. Please now, I can just hear those same evil doers in the world using this to stir up trouble. Oh junkyfungus is saying APR are liars. That is not what I am saying at all. I am using APR as an example, because I work there, but because I work there I must also identify it as my fierce loyalty to the point of a fault that I put a company and those who work along with me and the very clients as truth without even investigating for myself where the truth lies. It is a responsibility, especially when loyalty is involved, that I do seek out the truth for myself. I’m certain that I would find truth and though I firmly believe it will sway towards those I trust, it is the correct thing to do. I’m talking about following that very Law of Attraction myself and giving all their due benefit.

I don’t really know someone is selling something they shouldn’t be, or that this molecule isn’t what they say it is. I am sure there are countless cries across the divide saying exactly the same thing about the other side. This all brings me right back to mark-in-dallas’ post about Mara being a good person. I am sure Mara is a great person and her products look magical, I only wish I was afforded an opportunity to read the forum as anyone else would have been. Use your time wisely my friends, be happy and in the words of Chuck-D: don’t believe the hype.

I’ve been doing it, I really have. I think it took some awful intense times in my life, but I have said enough is enough and made the change. I ask myself whenever I do something now is it going to take me towards my goals. I am eating healthy, exercising and on the path to self-reliance through health. I finally figured it out that I needed to hit rock bottom before I could start climbing back out. I hit that rock bottom and now the climb is in full momentum. One step following another and it takes me forward on the path to my goals.

I know the direction I must go, and I am on the path, but the question now comes up with other things. Am I in the right forest? Sure I am heading in the right direction but this compels me to ask myself where else I need to make the changes that will ultimately lead me in the direction of my goal.

In the beginning of this year I set a goal that I would make my first million dollars and somehow I seem ever distant from achieving that goal. I know the universe is supposed to unfold before me and my job is not to limit the universe presenting that goal to me, but I also know that I am supposed to focus on achieving that goal. This is where currently I am struggling. How is it I am supposed to be focused on that goal driving myself ever closer when things around me get tougher and tougher.

With my health I know how to achieve it. I can control the foods I eat, the exercise I do, the lifestyle I choose, but with finances it seems so much more impossible, especially when things are not where they need to be. The economy sucks and it is directly affecting my lifestyle. With everything that’s happening I have to ask myself if staying the course is going to pull me away or help me achieve that success I desire.

I wonder if anyone has any thoughts on this?

Last night I went out to a local bar. I called a friend who is always late and I accept that in a way. I guess if he is always going to be late than if I want to continue our friendship than I have to make personal adjustments and accept him for who he is. I was out with him on Friday night and surprisingly he was actually there before I was which made it appear as he was actually on time. OK so maybe he values that persons company than anybody elses, but then again on Thursday he was 20 minutes late to the new Star Trek premiere. But again if you want to hang out with him you have to accept his being late.

It was about two weeks ago that I was heading out and I called him. He told me to give him a ring when I was headed his way so I did. I called him and he said he was out to dinner but by the time I got to his house he would be back. I kind of figured he would be late but I needed to make a call and that would give me sufficient time to do so. I arrived at his house and called him to let him know I was there. He called and said he was still at dinner and would be leaving soon. Just what I expected so I made my call and completed it in fifteen minutes. I waited another 15 minutes and he was still no where in sight. I decided I needed to call my friend again and he was still at the restaurant and apparently they had just brought the bill. After I had already waited for 30 minutes I decided that accepting ones lateness was OK once in a while, after all friends can sometimes be late, but this was a reckless display of ones value system towards others and that I do not accept.

Like anyone would who values their own system of belief and themselves as a person I left. He called after I was already on my way to my girlfriends house about 30 minutes later and asked where I was. I could hear the background noise of the restaurant and this guy hadn’t even left yet and still expected me to be around. I told him I was on my way to my girls house and maybe next time. To tell the truth at the time I figured on writing it off to the universe and letting it go. While I decided that I would not dwell on it I also wasn’t going to place myself into that situation with anyone ever again.

I value my time and I have the desire to achieve whatever success that I focus my energies on. I believe desire and faith must be key elements in success and therefore value my time as precious. Every second of life must be used to enhance the next second with pure positive energy and not wasted on negative stress energy.

So, back to last night. I called my friend during the day and extended an invite out that night. I was going out anyway and was being nice. He has a habit of telling you where he is and to call him when you’re headed his way. Well I was headed out to Cooper Young so I guess he thought I was headed his way, but I was going there anyway. When I got there it was perfect. I got the very first spot in the lot, a great table looking up at the big screen to watch the game and Kaila (the leggy blond) as my waitress. I ordered myself a Blue Moon and started chatting it up with some people. The table next to me was there for an office Birthday Party. Two girls came in with panties over their pants as a sorority pledge. I talked to Monica and Amanda who were having fun. I talked to quite a few people just being social. I ordered myself a pizza and damn it was mighty good.

After I good half hour I called my friend to see if he was even going to come as he was at a party and I realistically didn’t expect him to show. I guess with time you lose that faith in someone when they continue on a path that devalues you. I would have been OK with it, but wanted to know because I was ready to focus my energy on socializing more so that later in the night I would have had people to be sociable with. My friend did show up and he apparently had drank to much at his party. He said there was still about ten people there after he left.

I offered to get him a shot, a drink a beer, whatever but he did take me up on some pizza, I couldn’t blame him as Young Avenue Deli makes a damn fine pizza. After about ten minutes his energy was draining quick. I tried to liven it up, but I guess he was drinking all day and it can sack the energy out of you. That wasn’t the main issue I had last night. He asked Kaila if she had any aspirin, but she didn’t. The energy was draining faster and faster, or was it? You see at this point he put his chin to his chest and never looked up the rest of the night!

What could be causing such a debilitating disease that causes the neck to no longer support the head that your chin permanently attach itself to your chest? The poor guy, his arms were twitching and he could no longer utter a single coherent word except…Except that it wasn’t a strange disease. He was actually texting the people he had just left. He muttered that after he had left the party the party ended. I am assuming he mentioned this to claim his prowess as an ALPHA male whom without, there would be no party. He said that his party friends were going somewhere else and if I wanted to go. There were plenty of people there and many were friendly, I even pointed put the girls in the lingerie who really seemed as if they wanted someone to talk to. It was tough for me to keep them both occupied and if I had a wing-man I could have, well I could have taken it further. He said they were too young, but I guess they stopped checking ID at the door considering it was a bar.

I tried to be conversational, I tried to get my friend to break his focus from texting and to realize as he sat there chin to chest life was going on all around him. Finally I had enough and I paid my bill, told him I was leaving and that was that. He said he was going to where his other friends were and that I should come. I told him I was headed to my girls, which I was, and to have a nice time.

Even though I said I wouldn’t expel the energy on it I still wondered about it on my way to my girlfriends. Was there something that I was doing wrong to be socially rejected by someone I consider a friend? I really had to think about it to realize that the fundamental flaw was not in myself. In fact I am socially sound and this fact is reinforced whenever I go out with my friends. Take for instance this very night as I sit here at BuckyStars writing this blog. When I walked in I am immediately greeted with a big hey JunkyFungus by every Barista and then a lengthy conversation always entails. Yes they know me, but surely they know a lot of their regular customers and I never here more than just a hello. I am a social animal and wherever I go I enjoy myself enough so that I don’t have to spend the entire night looking down at my phone texting others.

I have come to the conclusion that my friend is addicted to being ALPHA at the very expense of being ALPHA. Hence whenever you call him he now just tells you to call when you are heading his way. I am not heading your way. The other day I mentioned a new project to him and his reply was to call if I needed advice. Friends offering advice, like my other friend who has substantially backed it up with concise information and a willingness to share of information now on several occasions, is welcome, but saying something with zero qualification is a sign of ALPHA addiction. Normally I would trust my friends but it is apparent that trust is lacking when friends cant spend any time with you without having to text their other friends on somewhere else to go.

This brings me to my next point. I believe that when someone is idolized as the ALPHA male of the group and then hanging out with those who do not see them that way they will tend to seek the refuge of those who do see them that way. In other words why hang out with those who don’t see you as ALPHA when you can hang with those who do idolize you? In my humble view it is apparent that being ALPHA for some is such an addiction that by the very act of being addicted to it leaves much room to becoming an ALPHA.

On that note I leave you with these words. Go forth and be an ALPHA of your domain, but always remember the ALPHA male is nurturing of all friendships, is always pleased with his surroundings and loves life to the fullest. An ALPHA male is confident in his own self with whomever is around and does not need to seek out the shelter of those that idolize him as ALPHA. An ALPHA male is confident in being beta.

I’ve gotten some pretty eye raising comments from some of my fellow friends in the Pick-Up community when I tell them that JunkyFungus has quit Pick-Up and will pursue life instead. Many of my friends kind of looked at me as if I had 17 eyes. One friend threatened to slap the holy bejesus out of me, another commenter said I finally figured it out, and yet another screamed “Yes, Yes” and it wasn’t even during sex. Actually the last one was when I was on the phone with her and I think I might have gone a little bit deaf.

What amazed me most was that there were two trains of thought when I announced my intentions. One, from 99% men was of astonishment and near anger. How could I do something like this? Was something messed up in my inner game? Did I have a brain tumor I was wearing a hat to hide? The other 99% females was it’s about time! You must have figured out woman really want romance, blah, blah, blah… Yeah I’m listening to that CRAP!

First off I didn’t say I was going to roll up my cock and put it away somewhere in cold storage. I didn’t say I was going to stop fucking every chick that met my fancy, and sure as hell I aint stopping loving that wonderful Pink and Squishy, warm and wet, soft and enveloping area of a woman us men call a pussy:). I’m not sure what idiot dreamed all this up, but fuck, get your head out your ass. OK enough of the cursing for this blog. One of my goals is to stop cursing so much and start lying more.

Anyway I figured it would be understood why I was leaving PUA behind and start thinking more forward, but I was wrong. You see, to me Pick-Up is very limited in its thinking. I mean I know a bunch of Pick Up Artists that are considered masters in their fields. There are guys who I always seem to really connect with and have an understanding of them more than I do of others. I mean I like Mystery and guys like him, but I can’t say that he would be my friend if we lived close. I wouldn’t say guys like that wouldn’t either but I’m more inclined to natural guys who don’t use gimmicks and tricks to get what they want, but more like people like Alex Alman and Jae Ellis. Some of the nicest guys I have met in pick-up and normal too.

I see guys who attempt to be someone else when they do pick-up, someone fake, just to get laid and sorry my friends, getting laid is all its about. There are times for sex, and yeah I will admit, it most of the time, but to get interesting, you need to be interested. Let me repeat that, to get interesting, you need to be interested. The passionate confident male is always interested in interesting things. Its about taking in what life has to offer and appreciating it. I felt limited with this respect doing pick-up!

It started out as a life lesson when I read DYD from David D and then Mystery. I made that connection that so many of us do. Lets face it, many guys just don’t get it at all! The thing was though as my game got better and better on the outside, I noticed that more and more things on the inside started creeping and crawling until my inner game was filled with creepy crawlers eating at my brain. It almost seems like an oxymoron, but gaming women was corrupting my personal confidence. I believe I was starting to become more and more ingrained into being a pick-up artist rather than living and experiencing life to its fullest.

I have seen so many guys in this niche start to loose their identities in the hopes of becoming a ladies man, but I challenge this notion. Isn’t one of the reasons you got into pick-up was because you were deserving a relationship. Now it just seems like everything you are doing is about gaming, while your personal identity slips away. I have seen many a man, good people, completely change and become someone else. I am not anybody else, I am just JunkyFungus, but a whole lot smarter than I was a couple of years ago. Of course I plan to fuck my way through Memphis, but at the same time I plan to also seek out life.

Stop being something that you aren’t. Don’t let pick up consume your life, let life consume the pick up. Enjoy.

Today I made huge progress in my Life Awareness skills I have been honing. I just feel so much better and the progress is evidential in my outlook and life shines with optimism. I started the day out by not writing my New Years Resolutions, or goals but by asking myself if I could have the perfect day, without any limitations, what would that day be like. I wrote out my answer and I didn’t even have to think about it, not one bit. The answer just flowed from my mind and I wrote it all in present tense.

I subscribe to a website called FinerMinds.com and it’s like an inspirational blog of sorts. It’s very cool because, since New Years, I have struggled a bit with what I actually wanted to put down to paper. Well I say paper, but I really mean, Mac Pages. So today I was like I really need to get this done, I need to find the inner strength to really get a grip on 2009 goals. Wouldn’t you know it, just as I released my thoughts to the universe, expecting completely an answer, I get the FinnerMinds email and sure enough the topic is writing goals for 2009. The Universe unfolded before me.

I spent a good part of the morning writing my ideal day and I must say I have big dreams and know I will achieve them. One of the things that I ask myself whenever I am about to do anything is: If I do this will it bring me closer to my goals? If it does I continue, if it doesn’t I know I am choosing to push myself away from that which I desire. It’s a choice that everyone should make and keep.

I remember a long-time ago when I worked for this telemarketing call center in California. It was a pretty cool job overall until I corrupted my mind. That’s another story though! My boss, Brett, told us that there was an amazing correlation of success minded individuals. He said that of all the people in the free world only 4% of them set goals for themselves. Of those 4% only 1% wrote those goals down. The correlation was that in all the free world only 4% of the population was financially secure, and only 1% of them were financially independent. It’s a pretty profound correlation that has had tremendous impact on my life.

After all those years, and believe me it was many ago, this is the very first year I have written my goals down. It’s amazing to me that I have even come this far and although I have been successful, I am not nearly as successful as my wildest dreams and this is the year I will be. I am that confident!

I’ve come to realize that sometime sticking to the very core principals, the basics of life, the foundations of social dynamics, you get the absolute best results. Tonight I stuck with some basic product and started a basic conversation with a hottie Barista at BuckyStars. I have had tremendous success and it is the best conversation I have ever had with her. Even my relationship with my assistant has reached new accords in my book today.

I am just so happy I can share with my readers this progress I have made.

For quite a while I considered myself a PUA and I guess I might still be. It’s something though, that as of yesterday started to bother me a bit. On the forum that I admin a member who I have a deep respect for called me a PUA and when I kind of down played it, he again called me a PUA, but the emphasis was on the artist aspect of it. So I really had to sit down and think this one through last night.

When I initially went out I was really in state, I was going to meet me a hottie and not to mention the hottie I have been working on at the Saucer. But, and it’s always the but that gets you, I completely lost my state and ended up with low-energy and actually pains in my body. My fellow friends were astonished at my low energy state and I guess it was with good reason as I am usually very passionate and exciting. I have a lot to talk about and get people interested in me, by being interested.

Today I again was soul searching, trying to figure out what went wrong. In retrospect it could be inner game issues I’ve posted about before creeping up on me again. It could be approach anxiety creeping into my game. It could be that I was just super-tired, but I think I have figured out what went wrong and in doing so have made a quantum leap in my game. You see I have never though of myself as a PUA, as I’ve always felt that was a bit creepy. I’m not out to meet women and get laid. I am out to experience life and all its magic splendor. Sometime that road will lead to getting laid, but hopefully more often than not, its the interaction itself that ignites that spark in me.

Ever since I have started doing Pick-Up I believe I have lost something. I don’t want to go out to just meet women anymore, I want to go out and meet people. I want to stop using acronyms that are meaningless to people unless they are a part of the PUA cult/religion. I hate the word sarge and lair, yet I find myself constantly referring to it. I am just not interested in being a PUA as much as I am a really cool guy who likes meeting new people. When your going out to meet people do you really get approach anxiety.

I remember very clearly how massentropy and I would go to Bealle Street and figure things out, but we would approach everybody. I don’t think there was much anxiety about it, as much as there is today. Perhaps I in pushing myself to exceed personal boundaries I am pushing myself in soliciting responses geared towards Pick-Up rather than having interesting conversations. Pushing myself for the wrong reasons.

I am a Life Artist and I live life to its fullest. I am pulling away from using weird little cult like acronyms and I’m just going to go out to have fun. No pressure Junky, just fun. Life is good and I believe I get what I want and I don’t want the pick up anymore. I want solid life interactions.

I belong to a whole lot of forums and read a lot of “field reports” by guys. On many forums I use pseudonyms, but often you just might find me posting as JunkyFungus too. I don’t post a whole lot on PUA forums anymore since I am under contractual agreement not to until, well just until. I do post on my own PUA Lairs forum, but its private so its OK and does not violate the contract. I can say that we are creating a show and it will be in conjunction with the Ammo release of the company I work with.

Well, like I was saying, I read allot still and it always amazes me why some guys are getting into Pick-Up. I guess when I started I wanted to have grudge sex with every girl I met. I often did and “amazingly” I never had an opportunity to have a relationship with any of those women ever again. Sure there were the ones who wanted nothing more for me to take out all my frustrations on their vaginas, in which case I was sure to comply. The thing about that is that other than leaving her with crippled legs, a sticky belly and a bunch of empties I really left no other type of value.

There was this one girl, who very much could have been girlfriend material. She was sweet, had a little freaky streak, was very much a lady when it counted, a smile that radiated love and affection, but to her all I ever will be is her F***-Buddy. I actually feel really sad about it, because in my heart I know she could’ve been more. Not being a wussy though I continue to appease my sexual appetite on her womanly charms. I take out all my frustrations as I bend her over the sofa and drive home the point that I can never have her in any other way. Perhaps Roissy might call me a freaking beta, and maybe in this instance I am portraying beta attributes.

The thing is now though, I have been doing something a bit different. Not just with her, but with all my girls. I’ve discovered that the ALPHA male is not just a guy who has his fill of tail. He isn’t just the guy that bangs every girl he meets that he wants to. I won’t try to define what ALPHA is here in this blog in one blog post. An ALPHA male, after all cannot be defined that way, an ALPHA male is ever growing. He is alive and perpetually increasing his knowledge, world wisdom, creativity, charm all the things that make him so likable. The ALPHA male is a guy that always leaves everyone he meets a little better than before they met him. We are the worlds Kane in Kung Fu, traveling from place to place our wisdom leading others to always do the right thing. Even the enemy who ultimately defeat themselves in all the Kung Fu episodes, even though some require a good Hason Chop to the Neck are left better off than when they started. He leaves everyone with VALUE.

I remember reading a post on a popular pheromone forum, where a boy-child says that he will never aspire to be an ALPHA male and have to always be a jerk to females. It’s not in his nature to be mean to women. So where did he come up with that asinine idea? It’s not to hard to figure it out if you are a regular reader of all the PUA forums out there. I am in awe at how some boys have made it this far along in life. Not surprisingly that they get involved into Pick-Up so they can at least get laid. I wonder, I really do, if its a good idea to teach such wisdom to a child who by my account seed should die off. At first I was a bit taken back by it all, but then I figured it out. They might study the art of Pick-Up, but in most instances they will not get far with the attitude they have. After a while most PUA either learn to lead the world into interactions that will make the world better, or they whither and die.

I believe now that most of us start out with a sense that we can finally get back at all the wrongs that were done to us in HS by all the babes that rejected us, or worse put us into the dreaded friend zone. When I started out in seduction, that’s exactly what I wanted to do, then after a year of banging away at the Memphis elite, the Hollywood Beautiful, the El Lay wannabes, the NYC models I finally came to realize that having women as friends is awesome. I love women with all my soul. I love the way they look, talk, smell, taste, everything about them. So what is so wrong with a woman who wants to be friends anyway? As an ALPHA I am confident enough to have a woman as a friend and not be sexually interested in her.

What’s even more, on my journey of being a man, the journey that all boys take, we follow in the footsteps of the great ones before us, like Jesus, Don Juan, and most of us learn a valuable lesson from our mothers. She taught us to love and cherish women. It was her sole responsibility to pass on the amazing bonding undying love she had for us and we had for her, as a mother, as our most influential woman in our lives. Many, many men believe, erroneously that moms values taught us to supplicate and romance women, but what we have failed to see is the dimensional side to mom who taught us not only to love and cherish, but to be ALPHA. We failed miserably in that course, not by her doing but of our own. Mom taught us to always leave value, always leave someone, especially a women a little better than before you met her.

We wanted to be nice to mom, we wanted for her to love us, but mom loved us regardless of what we did. In fact mom loved us more when we are a bit ornery.

As an ALPHA male it is our responsibility to always leave everyone a little better off than before we met them. I’m not saying you should supplicate, be the sweetheart, but you can be the friend and still have sex. That’s the best kind anyway. The ALPHA is going to be passionate, confident and always leave VALUE. Another tag to the increasing list of ALPHA male traits.

The other day in the mall I was searching for the perfect present for a “friend.” I ended up in Victoria’s Secretes looking for those cheeky shorts. It never even crossed my mind that I should be embarrassed about being in there. There are a lot of babes that shop in there and then on the other hand, there are women who have no right in spandex, let alone cheeky shorts. By all things Pink and Squishy may the God of all things bad and corrupt strike down those who who would break this universal Karmic Law and infest their pubic hairs with green fungus. Let’s get this straight, I am not talking about the fungus of a Junky, but that fungus you might only find in a fatties crotch. Disgusting!

OK back to the pleasantries of the babes of Victoria’s Secrets. I was in the mall doing some last minute shopping and asked a friend if he wanted to head over to Vicky’s. I was surprised that he said he felt intimidated by the store. I certainly can feel his anxiousness as I have approach anxiety more often than I like to admit. The good news, at least for me, is that I actually found a valuable lesson to be learned here. Now something like walking into a frilly girly-girl store like VS, is not a big deal at all to me. To my friends walking up to a babe and gaming here is not a big deal to them either.

The lesson is, why should life be anything less than fun? Like who cares if you’re approaching a babe, just do it, get out there, smile and have fun doing everything. The passionate man, who is confident does not fail. He sees an opportunity to move forward and enjoy every interaction as its the most important one of his life. He radiates with knowledge, willing to share, to learn, to experience. I am that passionate man and you can be too.

I was a bit unsure of what type of panties my friend wanted so I asked the lady if she had boy shorts. She took me over to a pair of daisy duke shorts and I was like eheh! OK so that’s what I was sure they would be called, so we looked in another place. I explained they were lacy, satiny, sexy and almost like a thong but really accentuated my chicks fine little butt. Oh you need the other side of the store. I was thinking we were in the Pink section, so now I need to go to the other side! Holy wow, if the other side was more racy than this side than this only proves that most women want more sex than men. There is a GOD!

She passes me off the Britney, a really cute blond, but aren’t they all cute at VS. OK I will admit, what in fucks sake is the idea to dress them up in all black? I mean in my vision of a good business plan would be to dress them up like school girls in plaid shorts, just a little to short and white shirts with just a tad few buttons buttoned. Perfect and sexy, innocent, sweet, but saucy on the inside. The world would be a much better place with me behind the wheel.

I tell Britney what I’m looking for and then notice she’s carrying a bag. I neg her about it, something I call a neg stack. I basically neg the hell out of hired guns, until they either do good work, or are just about to cry.  I get them s fired up to do good for this amazingly picky customer, who is confident and passionate. They do everything to appease me. When finally they do something OK and they are at their breaking point, the Kino wrap of my arm around their waste is so easy. I pull them in, they rest their head on my shoulder and I say, OK, you’re going to make it. I like you, because you try harder than those other girls. Man they eat it up. I get numbers and more off hired guns than any other set I open. Golden:~)

Anyway, Briteny worked out pretty well and worked hard to appease me. It just makes it that much easier to neg her harder when she messes up. Finally after much describing these panties on my behalf a light-bulb went off and she was like OH you mean Cheeky’s. Ummm like sure. So there they are and its exactly what my friend wears. OK yeah that’s them and there’s a sale going on. Buy two get one free. I love sales, especially when women’s panties are ridiculously priced. $16 a pair of panties!

Britney asks me her size and here we are at another road block. Of course I know her size, but life is fun, so I say hmm let me see and start to look around at chicks. She sees me and is like well is she my size? I’m like no, she is really skinny. She gets a crossed look on her face, and believe me Britney was far from fat. I crack a smile and she punches me in the arm, well it was more like a girly slap. I have her eating out of my hand.

Next roadblock: She’s laying them out side, by side asking what I think and I’m at a loss. I’m like totally undecided and ask Britney if maybe she can model them. She laughs and says that VS, doesn’t allow them too. OK who said we have to do it here. She says, almost in a whisper, like she was being bad, what about your girlfriend? I say, girlfriend, like I’m a bit shocked. Oh no, these are for my grandma. OK now she is laughing.

I get another bright-fun idea and actually say, ooh I know. I crumple up a pair and toss it on the floor and say oh that’s much better. I like those. Britney says, Oh no you just didn’t! Two blond girls behind me see this and are laughing loud. I start crumpling and tossing, No to that, yes to that, before you know it the two girls behind me are helping. Britney and them are taking them and spinning on there fingers and I end up with panties tossed in my face and on the floor. It was very fun.

Sometimes just a small shift in how you think is all it takes. I went to have fun and everything else fell into place.

Last night I went through some personal shit again in my game and I wanted to get it out in the open. I’ve been doing a lot of work with some of the best Pick-Up Artists in the world. I have been in contact with many of them for a good while and they have been helping me with my game. It’s nice to have telephone support from guys whose game is just off the hook. Whenever I am in a jam and have no idea how to progress I can just pick up the Iphone and give them a call. It’s helped me through some times when I just would have not known what to do next.

I mentioned in my last few blog posts that I was suffering with a bad case of Approach Anxiety in any bar. I was determined to beat it and so I’ve been going out the last few nights. On Tuesday I went out to a few bars, there was really not a thing going on, but even so there were a couple of sets I could have opened. My Pick-Up friends will tell you that you don’t have to do pick-up every night, but for me its crucial that I do. To many excuses can be made to not and that was just another excuse for me. I didn’t approach and therefore I didn’t work on my inner game issue of AA.

Last night I went to the Downtown Saucer and when I got there I was determined to open a set. I was the first one there and like clockwork I found a mixed four set. There were two brunettes and two dudes. I was going to use the UFO cub machine and then turn to open them, but the machine was not working. Since they were right there it was the perfect situational opener. I had the two dudes jumping through my compliance hoops trying to get the machine to work. I made friends of them and then opened the obstacle. Easy work!

I managed to isolate the target and get her to comply by moving over to the machine. I had my arm around her, things were moving smoothly. Great right? Nope, because all of a sudden my inner-game issues came a burbling to the top like a giant gas bubble from the cesspool of my darkest recesses. Disgusting right? You damn right it is and annoying too! I could have had that girl easy. She was mine for the taking and those guys never would have known what happened. It wasn’t meant to be though as like I said, my inner game was screaming at me: “JunkyFungus, you can’t have this girl. She is a babe and you’re just fat. She’s going to laugh at you when you move in for a kiss. She’ll pull away and the whole bar will laugh. Ahahahaa I’m even laughing at you. I love you JunkyFungus, listen to me, its your inner voice speaking. There’s no getting away from me. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

Spooky right? Yeah my mind can be just as twisted as yours.

My inner game was screaming with an issue I have been trying to beat for the longest time. Strike that, I have been trying to kick the shit out of for the longest time. Every time I try and get a step ahead, I keep getting that horrible voice challenging me, calling me out on my shit, and putting me down. Many of us have antagonists in our lives, but how many of those antagonists are their own selves. It’s like self-depreciating, self-pity, self-hatred all rolled up in a nice warm bun of mental illness. But every time I try and do something about it, every time I make great progress with women, every time I join a gym, every time I go on a diet, every time I take an action to shut that nagging voice the hell up, it comes back stronger and stronger.

I can’t get away from it, or can I? I remember reading in:
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials)
that if you publicize any of your problems or goals, you are more like to achieve them. I’m hoping this works, because I’m about at wits end with this one. I’ve said it already, but in case you missed it, my inner game is screaming at me about my weight issue. Again though, I’ve joined a gym: I pay $30 a month for a two year membership thats already 7 months old and I’ve gone maybe a months worth. I’ve gone on diets, I’ve committed myself before. My second blog post: Ice At The End Of My Straw was all about this same thing. When I was in Los Angeles in January I met the most awesomist Yoga and Life Coach ever. I read her blog daily and she inspired me so much, but why still today is this commitment so elusive?

I ask, maybe as a rhetorical question, but feedback is appreciated, because maybe someone with insight can answer. Is there something wrong with me. I was on a diet once and I had lost nearly 50 lbs and was looking terrific. I was working out every day and life was looking good, and then clear, out of the blue, without reason I just stopped. No reason, except maybe personal sabotage. Do you know, because I sure as hell don’t.

I do know, in my own mind, my inner game is screaming at me. It’s telling me that no woman wants a guy who can’t take care of himself. Shit man, I got mad game! I sleep with lots of women and I’ve had some of the hottest women in Memphis in my bed. I’m an ALPHA mother fucker and I know it, but this inner game, my inner game is all fucked up and needing assistance.

This is my commitment, this is my public announcement of my goal, my Influence changing, life altering pledge to myself that I need to get this area in my life under control. I was able to accomplish what I never thought I would be able to accomplish. I am a master PUA, I am ALPHA, I am going to be famous. By God I am in control of my life.

My friends, I humbly ask you to keep my pledge to you, to me in check.

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes
© 2010 JunkyFungus Media Group Believe! Suffusion WordPress theme by Sayontan Sinha