Jerry Garcia, whose gentle voice and gleaming, chiming guitar lines embodied the psychedelic optimism of the Grateful Dead for three decades, died in his sleep yesterday at Serenity Knolls, a residential drug treatment center in Forest Knolls, Calif. He was 53.

A spokesman for the band, Dennis McNally, said the cause was a heart attack.

The guitarist had suffered serious health problems for a decade. In the 1960′s, he was known as Captain Trips, referring to his frequent use of LSD, and he struggled through the years with heroin addiction. He was hospitalized in 1986 in a diabetic coma, and in 1992 the group had to cancel tour dates when Mr. Garcia fell ill from exhaustion. In recent years he had tried to stop smoking and to lose weight.

The Grateful Dead, and Mr. Garcia as their most recognizable member, had come to represent the survival of 1960′s idealism. As news of his death spread, fans wept in the streets of San Francisco and the Internet was flooded with eulogies and reminiscences.

Within the music business, the Dead exemplified integrity in a sphere of hype and artifice; beyond, they symbolized a spirit of communal bliss, with free-wheeling, anything-can-happen music to bring together a community of tenacious fans, the Deadheads.

The band’s future is uncertain; the Dead had planned to record their newest songs in a studio for an album to be released next year.

The Grateful Dead were one of rock’s most beloved institutions. Formed in 1965, when a Bay Area jug band decided to switch to electric instruments, the Dead created an all-American fusion of bluegrass, blues, country, rhythm-and-blues, folk and rock, all laced with improvisation. The band never played a song the same way twice.

The Dead built their reputation on long, free-form concerts, going onstage without a set list and playing anything from original songs to rock oldies to extended experiments with feedback. The music could shift in any direction as it sought what the band and its fans called the “X factor”: spontaneous, revelatory stretches of music arrived at through practice and serendipity.

The Dead were one of the top bands in late-1960′s San Francisco, and unlike their hippie-era contemporaries, they continued to thrive, their essence unchanged and their popularity expanding. John Scher, chairman of Metropolitan Entertainment, which coordinates the band’s East Coast performances, said yesterday that the Grateful Dead “are unquestionably the highest-grossing band cumulatively in the history of the music business.”

He noted that the band in recent years played 85 to 110 shows annually. It set attendance records for every major arena in the New York area, as well as the Spectrum in Philadelphia and the Boston Garden.

The Dead’s fans savored the group’s unpredictability, seeing as many concerts as possible and sometimes following the band for a full-length tour. For most of the 1980′s and early 1990′s, the band toured stadiums and did not play to a single empty seat; some concerts sold out before they were advertised, purely through announcements in the Deadheads’ newsletter and on a telephone hotline. (The band had planned six concerts in late September at Madison Square Garden as part of a fall tour, but it is unclear if they will proceed.)

Unlike the vast majority of rock bands, the Dead focused on performing rather than recording. Even as a stadium attraction, the Grateful Dead were something like an old-time jug band, barnstorming a territory that stretched around the world.

Mr. Garcia was at the heart of the Dead’s music. His reedy voice was unassumingly sincere; his guitar tone was pristine and bell-like, as he spun long, leisurely lines with distinctive curlicues and downward slides. He wrote about half of the Dead’s own material, working primarily with the lyricist Robert Hunter, and many of his finest tunes — such as “Ripple,” “Touch of Grey,” “China Cat Sunflower” and “Uncle John’s Band” — sounded as natural as traditional songs. Mr. Garcia’s smiling, bearded face became an icon of a utopian 1960′s spirit.

Jerome John Garcia was born in San Francico on Aug. 1, 1942. His father was a professional musician, and he took piano lessons as a child. But he lost most of the third finger on his right hand in a childhood accident. When he was 15, he heard Chuck Berry and took up the electric guitar. After nine months in the Army, he turned to folk music, picking up the banjo and playing in bluegrass bands; he also studied at the San Francisco Art Institute. By 1964, he was in Mother McCree’s Uptown Jug Champions, which also included Bob Weir on guitar and Ron (Pigpen) McKernan on harmonica.

A year later, with Phil Lesh on bass and Bill Kreutzmann on drums, the band plugged in and became the Warlocks. At first, they worked as a bar band, playing blues six nights a week. The Warlocks soon changed their name to the Grateful Dead — a type of British folk ballad in which a human being helps a ghost find peace — after running across the phrase in a dictionary. They became the house band for Ken Kesey’s Acid Tests, the public LSD parties held before the drug was outlawed.

The Dead lived communally in San Francisco and played many free concerts, soon working their way up to the city’s ballrooms and the Fillmore West. The band signed a contract with MGM Records in 1966, but its efforts were shelved. In 1967, the Dead signed with Warner Brothers, and while their first albums sold modestly, their reputation spread. From the beginning, when the band was financed by the LSD chemist Stanley Owsley, the Dead were known for the latest in sound systems as well as for their music. The group performed at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967 and at Woodstock in 1969.

By 1970, the Grateful Dead had made five extraordinary albums in a row: “Anthem of the Sun” in 1968, “Aoxomoxoa” in 1969 and “Live Dead,” “Workingman’s Dead” and “American Beauty” in 1970. Its 1971 live album, “Grateful Dead,” became its first million-seller, and it continued to play to larger and larger audiences. In 1973, it was one of the three groups (with the Allman Brothers Band and the Band) to perform for half a million people at Watkins Glen, N.Y.

Mr. Garcia also worked outside the Grateful Dead, as a musician and a producer. He recorded with the Jefferson Airplane and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young; he produced the first album by the New Riders of the Purple Sage, adding parts on an instrument he was just learning, the pedal steel guitar.

Outside the Dead, Mr. Garcia pursued some of the styles that were tucked into the Dead’s music. In the early 1970′s, he played jazz-rock with the keyboardist Merl Saunders and bluegrass with a group called Old and in the Way; he also recorded his first album as a leader in 1971, playing rock songs tinged with country. Through the years, he toured (between Grateful Dead tours) with his own band, and he collaborated with musicians including the keyboardist Howard Wales and the mandolinist David Grisman.

His most recent recording, released in 1993, was an album of children’s music, “Not for Kids Only.” In another recent project, Mr. Garcia designed a line of neckties that was sold at Macy’s and other stores.

Yet most of his time was devoted to the Grateful Dead. While the band had touched on funk and jazz, and had incorporated some of the new sounds made available through synthesizer technology, its music remained immediately recognizable, with a folksy, homespun tone that belied the size of its audiences. Grateful Dead concerts are among least overbearing in current rock; the band’s customized sound systems emphasize clarity and warmth, not sheer volume. Through the years, the Dead’s tour circuit expanded, including a 1978 series of shows at the Great Pyramid in Egypt; the band toured with Bob Dylan in 1987, a collaboration that resulted in a live album. The band weathered the deaths of Mr. McKernan in 1973 as well as the deaths of two of its keyboardists, Keith Godchaux and Brent Mydland.

Since the 1970′s, the band has attracted a significant following of Deadheads, which expanded further in the 1980′s as the sons and daughters of baby boomers embraced the band as a symbol of 1960′s pleasures and hopes. The Dead made an effort to treat their fans well. Unlike many bands, the Dead encouraged their fans to tape their concerts, even providing a place near the sound engineer’s booth for fans to set up microphones and tape recorders. They also kept ticket prices low and maintained contact with fans through the newsletter, a hotline and, more recently, electronic mail. In return the Dead have held on to what is probably the longest-lasting mass following in rock history.

In tie-dyed clothes and bare feet, dancing in the aisles, the Dead’s audiences revived the wardrobe, and perhaps some of the hopefulness, of the Summer of Love. In an interview for Joe Smith’s book “Off the Record” (1988), Mr. Garcia said, “To the kids today, the Grateful Dead represents America: the spirit of being able to go out and have an adventure.”

He is survived by his third wife, Deborah Koons Garcia, and by four daughters: Heather, Annabelle, Teresa and Keelin, all of Marin County.

This is a response to a post on PheroTalk Forum that I do not feel appropriate, for personal reasons, posting on the actual forum
You may read the entire thread here: : Why would someone do this? Am I bad person?

My reply, is a direct reply to mark-in-dallas’ post quoted below:

Darlin, I almost called Mara. I don’t think they hate me over there at this point, but I don’t know how much good it would have done either. She knows I’m here and knows that I’ve stayed neutral in the war, but I really don’t have any weight over there either.

Mara is an awesome lady though, and you can tell her I said so!

I’ve heard that as well Mark:). She sounds pretty cool and I wanted to check out the product there: LovePotionPerfume. I was saddened when I got banned from her site for no reason. I mean, I didn’t even get a chance to post!

I thought it would be best to read up, just like I did on PheromoneTalk and every other forum I belong to, when I joined. I didn’t spoof my IP and used an email address that I clearly own so I wasn’t trying to hide anything. I certainly didn’t go there to try and rub someones nerves raw, like the thread I am responding to has broken down into.

When I got banned It didn’t surprise me one bit! People talk a great game about love and respecting one another and all the while they are secretly talking and plotting behind each others back and I certainly do NOT mean this happens only at one forum or the other. I was pissed off that someone would actually go to those lengths to watch who registers. All the posts and threads about lying and waiting to strike with masked IP’s, at LovePotionPerfume, well that did surprise me. I always have heard how loving, accommodating and well wishing everyone one is there. Please understand that in no way is this saying that it only happens over there. I mean really, just read the SteveO put the S back into Sexi… thread at PheromoneTalk and it certainly opens up eyes to the bad in some peoples hearts. Needless to say, yeah but I’m saying it anyway, that I was shocked and appalled at the ill-intent spewed at PheromoneTalk as well. I was pretty sure that I understood the rules at PheromoneTalk since I was always told to treat it like a party atmosphere. If it didn’t go at a party, it didn’t go there either. LOL, I’m not sure where some people go to party, but please don’t invite me if that’s the idea of a party.

When I mentioned the Laws Of Attraction (LOA) in a thread someone told me in private that they were told I didn’t know what I was talking about. Correct me if I’m wrong; what you think about and do most is EXACTLY what you attract into your life. If you think about, write about, plot about it, all the while doing the very same thing; you get exactly that back. Am I innocent and perfect? No, but at least I do not redefine the very meaning of what I say I believe in to suite the flavor of the day.

With that said, I could also understand why some people wanting to go off and start their own little private forum. I really hope it is a place that, in the Hosts own words:

please be comfortable posting anything as you would like to, with only RESPECT to any and all involved.

I wish them well. I do hope that I can myself join anonymously and post about those pheromone products I am currently unable to without bias. This leads me into my next point.

There seems to be a whole lot of conflicting information, or misinformation spreading. The more I read, the more I have to question the validity of MANY claims. All the marketing hype, all the underhanded deeds, all the hate-fueled words of anger and just pure evil is just bewildering to me. Michael Harris is talking about having to escape the USA, land of capitalism and apparently without room for pheromone research companies. I just don’t understand how other pheromone companies survive! He says innovation is a serious risk due to all the frivolous lawsuits, but this goes right back to my above paragraph on LOA. Clearly a company focusing all their efforts on a positive impact, of making the world a better place would have a place in this world. I don’t get it! I’m sure a man, that many would strive to elevate themselves just to get to his level, will be able to come up with a way to do business wherever he damn well pleases without fear of reprisal.

I guess in this world we live in though there are just some evil doers. I even remember hearing at least a few people I know who said my post about the tragic passing of David Carridine was about them. Umm hello, if you believed it was about you, than you must have a very poor image of yourself or maybe it is you… Let me ease their minds: I was sad to hear about the “suicide death” of a childhood hero. There are so many influences of evil coming from every side its mind boggling. To think a man who seemed like he had life in the palm of his hand, without any known provocation or history of mental problems would one day, out of the blue, up and end his life. Very sad indeed. I urge those who still believe it is about them to seek emergency psychiatric help now.

Unfortunately I’ve learned there are way to many people being deceitful and spreading viscous rumors and the worse part about it: it all seems like its based on making a buck! When people don’t care who they hurt, how many lies they spread, who gets caught in the cross fire (mob mentality) it just goes to show you the level people will sink to. Look what Michael Harris said what someone did to Jasmin’s kids. That is just pathetic! I am a firm believer in the Golden Rule: Due onto others as you would have them due onto you.

Although I could never understand how it is to appreciate a mothers love for her children (I have personally witnessed Jasmin’s love for her children and there is not a question in my mind that she is an amazing mother) I also have experienced personal attacks and against my family, but I do NOT accept the victim mentality. I refuse to allow a horrible situation to dictate my life. My situation is VERY different from Jasmin’s though as hers revolve around her kids. My love and well wishes goes out to Jasmin, but more importantly her children. I was blessed to spend many hours with that baby girl and boy and they are just loved, loved, loved and as such are loving, loving, loving. With an ongoing investigation I will not say more, but I will close this paragraph out with a silent prayer to the good Lord that her issues are resolved and whomever the guilty is that they are punished accordingly.

Well its 3:34 A.M. and I’m just blabbering about all this, but jeez, we have all this fighting and paranoia going on against so many companies. It’s hard to fathom an entire industry made out of just downright bad people with just a very select couple that are trying to do the right thing, and even those are now getting low down and dirty. Customers are actually drawing lines in the sand claiming loyalty to one company over another, but the really scary thing is, since when is a company more important than the human element? Are we all getting dragged into a big shit storm of hatred being perpetrated by an evil manipulative hack, whose identity is hidden that is looking to destroy lives–all over greed? Scary to fathom an idea as such!

I’ve been repeatedly told how this guy and that guy are just horrible and because of my loyalty to APR perhaps I’ve been completely blinded as well. Now that’s not to say it isn’t the truth, but isn’t it my responsibility to find out that truth? I’ve always believed there are three sides to every story: Your side, His side, and somewhere in between the TRUTH. Please now, I can just hear those same evil doers in the world using this to stir up trouble. Oh junkyfungus is saying APR are liars. That is not what I am saying at all. I am using APR as an example, because I work there, but because I work there I must also identify it as my fierce loyalty to the point of a fault that I put a company and those who work along with me and the very clients as truth without even investigating for myself where the truth lies. It is a responsibility, especially when loyalty is involved, that I do seek out the truth for myself. I’m certain that I would find truth and though I firmly believe it will sway towards those I trust, it is the correct thing to do. I’m talking about following that very Law of Attraction myself and giving all their due benefit.

I don’t really know someone is selling something they shouldn’t be, or that this molecule isn’t what they say it is. I am sure there are countless cries across the divide saying exactly the same thing about the other side. This all brings me right back to mark-in-dallas’ post about Mara being a good person. I am sure Mara is a great person and her products look magical, I only wish I was afforded an opportunity to read the forum as anyone else would have been. Use your time wisely my friends, be happy and in the words of Chuck-D: don’t believe the hype.

Every year I spend about $800 on fireworks to celebrate this great nations birthday, even though the obamanation is attempting to destroy US. Yesterday I went to a new fireworks tent set up across the street from Jake’s Fireworks World, where I buy from each year. This lady was super-nice but her prices were double and triple what Jake charges. She was adamant that she had great pricing and wasn’t coming down. My recourse was to leave and not buy from her, so that’s exactly what I did.

I’ve been pursuing other avenues of revenue and have cut back on the hours to only full-time (40 hours) rather than the 70 hours I have been working. Too many other ways for me to make money and opportunity doesn’t pay the bills so I was a little hesitant about buying these fun little explosives in the first place. I decided that I wasn’t going to stop being positive and living my life as awesome as I always have. There are plenty of ways that I have to make money and now that I am focusing more on them I am already seeing dividends. There are times I just need to remind myself that my loyalty is always first and foremost to myself. Been there and done that with CDG and look where they are now.

I went over to Jake’s and as always made a deal. I would get the BIG BANG (A $1200 assortment) for half price, plus a couple of hundred dollars worth of other goodies all for $650 plus tax. Right within what I planned to spend. Jake himself made the deal and when he went to charge my card he accidentally refunded me $750 instead of charging me. Unbeknown to me, he then charged my card the $750 to even out the charges, but we all know refunds can take 3-10 days to post back. Well then he went and tried to charge my card the $750 again for the works, but by this time the bank suspected fraud and froze my account.

He was very honorable about it and tried to call his merchant services but couldn’t get anywhere. Then he kind of gave up and was like I loose a sale and you don’t have any fireworks. Like no freaking way do I save all year for this one little vice of mine and then walk away empty handed and to boot he wanted me to sign the sales slip. Imagine being asked to sign a sales receipt for $750 and have nothing to show. No way!

I called my bank and after going back and forth for about two hours we finally got his bank to cancel the entire transaction and this allowed me to not leave empty handed. I ended up spending about $350 for $1400 worth of fireworks which a very cool Jake doubled and made my day. It was a mistake and and I told him there was no need to do that at all. As long as we straightened it out, but he was insistent. Jake’s fireworks World on Hwy 51 in Atoka, TN is the absolute most honorable guy and a true gentleman.

It reaffirms my belief in the Law of God’s Universe. I didn’t give up and through a bit of positive energy I got the greatest deal and saved a bunch of money.

Happy 233 Birthday USA. I love this great country.

I left the hotel today for some recreational adventures, you know, to discover the real Mexico without the tourists, without the Americanized (USA) versions of what the world is supposed to look like, without the glamorous and sterilized appeasement to keep the all mighty dollar flowing. After all, regardless of what anybody tells you, it is always about the dollar. To many people will tell you that its not, they love what they do, they would do it anyway, they would never do anything that didn’t make them happy, especially including work.

I am one of those people that absolutely love what I do, but at the end of the month I have bills to pay. So where as some of us do love our jobs, we all still need the electricity on, food on the table, gas in the tank and perhaps a bit of savings. A former employer once told me they sought after only those persons who wanted to work for the passion involved, and wouldn’t even consider hiring anyone looking more for the money. I thought to myself that’s all well and good, but here you are meanwhile withdrawing close to a thousand dollars nearly everyday. He shopped at the very best stores, went out to dinner at very pricey restaurants and drove a car which was worth more than some peoples homes.

I do believe that people should be paid what they are worth and I do believe their skills should be rewarded, but this person was living handsomely as he paid his employees pennies. I was always told how valuable of an asset I was to the corporation, but my weekly paycheck was barely enough to meet my monthly bills. He tried to keep us in check by keeping the fear that at any minute our paychecks could disappear at any minute. There was always stories about a new guy he met that is just itching for a job. The loyalty my fellow staff members and I was unquestionable, but his loyalty was derived from how much work he could get out of us for how little pay. Our reviews for pay-raises came once a year and I will never forget how hard I worked for them that year.

I continuously was told how I went above and beyond what was expected. The praises came in every day. I took the business from virtual mom and pop status to International Mega-Stardom. Every day leading right into review time I was ranked the best among the best. You’re going to go far, stick with us, blah, blah blah. The company originally promised me a large salary and loads of benefits, however, since the office I was taking over was situated in a repressed area of the country, what I was currently making as a floor manager (the lowest on the scale in New Jersey) far exceeded anything anyone made in West Virginia, where they were transferring me to. I took it as an opportunity to prove my value and just how much I believed in what I was doing, after all I was a team player. Back then I had so much loyalty for the companies I worked for that I put them before everything else including myself.

I’ll never forget that fateful day when the national manager of the company came into town to review my performance over the past year. Exceeded all expectations! I was given the task to get the companies largest office, missing every company goal, failing miserably, a 250 seat facility operating with 25 employees turned around. I had one year to do it or the office would be shuttered. The owners brother personally told me that he didn’t believe I could do it. Not only did I do it, but it was completely overhauled and we excelled in every area within three months. I was operating with 500 employees and if you weren’t there at least 2o minutes early you would lose your seat for the shift. Where we used to have 2 shifts we took it up to 4 shifts and operated 17 hours a day. It was an amazing turn-around and I was awarded Manager of the Year out of 60 other offices. I was expecting a raise that spoke of my achievements. Needless to say that when the National Manager said their were certain changes in the industry that were proposed before congress that might hurt the industry if passed I knew there was going to be a BIG disappointment.

The national manager told me how I was going to be compared to all the other managers pay in the region and my pay would commensurate with the average of this region. The very same region that was struggling with the same managers that had not only failed in their offices, but were the very same ones who had previously ran my office into the ground. I was in for a HUGE shock! I was told with the current deductions in pay that all the other managers had received in the same position I was in that my pay far exceeded ever other manager. So you’re telling me I’m not going to get a raise, not based on the merits of my work, but based on the margin of error (the bell curve) of every sorry excuse of a manager that you hired and trained, that has nothing at all to do with me whatsoever? His answer threw me for a loop especially considering by this point I was not going to get a raise. Well no JunkyFungus, I’m afraid you are making to much money for your position in this region and I am going to have to deduct a percentage of your pay to bring you into fair standards of other managers in the same region.

That wasn’t the only smack in the face that day though. I guess when he saw my jaw drop, my fist clinch so hard, knuckles turning white, my nails digging into my palm cutting into my skin, drawing blood, he felt obligated to say that I was still considered amongst the best paid in the area. All I had to do to remind me why my pay was still awesome in this area was to drive into town and take a look around to see how others were living and the disparity of how they lived and what they earned to my own pay. I left that job and last I heard that office was closed within a year after my departure and just last week all the managers who put loyalty towards the company first, even before their own selves were fired. From what I understand the owners sold out and the company wanted young fresh talent to take the company even further. I think its important to always remember that the company will always try and sell you the dream. Its the big-picture you’re after. Its the reward at the end that drive you forward. It should never be about your paycheck, anyone working for their paycheck is at the wrong job.

I’ll never forget that day when I was told to go check out how others were living, because in fact it did teach me something worth incredible value. First and foremost be loyal to yourself, but even more important you should love what you do, but never settle for the absolute nonsense that the owners of these companies are working because they love what they do and would do it even if it didn’t make them rich. If that was the case why are they becoming rich off all your effort and toil and not turning around and providing the proper means for you to earn a living. It always seems very funny that they are making so much money and yet their employees live in squalor all the while being sold the dream. The dream that always seems a bit out of reach. The dream that does not provide the family with enough food to eat, enough money to take the family to paradise when paradise is right down the street. They tell you to love your job and be happy at what you do, but pay them pennies. I’ve seen Cancun today, I’ve seen the huts where families of 7 sleep with dirt floors. Both mother and father and any children old enough all work because they LOVE what they do, bringing home their weekly earnings rarely enough to make it through a few days let alone the week. I hear those that tell you to keep working hard all the while withdrawing thousands a day. Times are tough, don’t work for the money, work because its your passion. I am bewildered how if its passion that drives you how can you allow those that are so poor to be in your employ?

If ever you don’t believe there are those who work for so little, a whole lot less that you do, take a vacation to paradise on Earth like Cancun. Drive to the areas that tourists are encouraged to never see. Your eyes will open up to just how some people really do live. and yes most of these people are very happy. Not happy because they love what they do, they are happy because they have integrity and honor and family and most importantly they have faith. There are some very good companies and people out there making the world a better place. These are not the companies that make the world better for their customers by indenturing those that work for them, they empower those that work for them so that they may empower the customers. A cycle of progressive forward thinkers willing to share not only the opportunity to make money, but actually sharing the money. If you want to see poverty go see it so that you can build a better world by empowering others to make a better world. Take the lessons you learn so that we can together make a better world and provide not only words of opportunity but actual opportunity.

My friend just informed me this morning that the company I write about here is officially closed and the owners have been indicted on a Federal Indictment and face 200 years in prison and one-hundred million dollars in fines and penalties and the government is also seeking millions in restitution back to their customers. I went to some poor parts of Cancun today, not to remind me of how great things are for me, but to remind me as long as one person struggles to survive in this world, we all have an opportunity to make the world a better place. What we chose to do with that opportunity is what we will be remembered as, as people. What will you do?

I just heard a funny thing, literally like just this minute. Someone actually thinks my David Carradine post was about anything other than what it clearly states. There are bad people and if we all work together to expose them the world would be a better place.  Not sure how that associates with them or their purported gripes its about something that they think its about, but that comes from vanity.

It always amazes me when people try and decipher words rather than just read them for what they are. I will say this though, this is the JunkyFungus blog. If you don’t like it your only option is to NOT read it. Really that simple! Friends can be more dangerous than enemies…

I’m headed to paradise for a couple of weeks. No MacBook, no IPhone, no connection with the angry people of the world. Only love and light, happiness and peace. I am also glad that through open, honest communication people can make another connection.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=throw+under+the+bus

Last night I couldn’t sleep and I ended up not at all. I’ve been up for 24 hours now, maybe even more and when its dark its dark. I found out about Master Kwai Chang Caine who traveled the Earth, or maybe it was just Los Angeles, seeking justice and peace for all. An embodiment of what every boy desires and other movie greats aspire to be. Even Jules, in Pulp Fiction, sought after that internal eternal peace that eludes so many of us:

Jules: I’ll just walk the earth.
Vincent: What’cha mean walk the earth?
Jules: You know, walk the earth, meet people… get into adventures. Like Caine from “Kung Fu.”

We all seek this, and for many different reasons, however I believe most of us seek peace from that which haunts us. The proverbial skeleton in the closet. I do know that all of us have these skeletons and they take shape in our appearance, how we speak to one another, the way we treat others and even how we go about to hurt each other. It’s unfortunate that there are people, sad people, who go about life with misery on their shoulders looking to gather those around them who are miserable, but they don’t stop there. Misery does love company and sometimes its about making others miserable around you so they can always keep in company.

Everyone who knows me, knows that I will bend over backwards to help a person out. I am good natured, always smiling and as the saying goes “Happy Go Lucky.” I believe and practice the Universal Law of Attraction, except maybe I call it God, the Omnipotent all loving force that gives onto those whatever they desire. I desire love and happiness in life!

Then we have those who strive to look for the conspiracy, who look for the bad, who seek out the injustice, the ill, the poor, meager and weak, but not so they can alter their surroundings and make it right, no these are the ones who dwell on the bad. They are the ones who feed off of badness and evil, the ones who call each other names and wish ill will towards others. The irrational, the degenerates of the world who hide behind pretty looking lies that are encrusted with jagged broken glass dripping with the filth of their pitifulness. They are wicked in their intentions and look to bring others into their rotten existence.

These are the ones who strive to bring those who achieve greatness down. They are the ones who take up positions of imaginary authority to bring others down. I know very many who serve in the military for noble reasons, I know police officers who serve to protect, civil servants who go about helping and living a life of poverty to help others elevate theirs. Then we have those who take these same positions to punish the weak, enslave the poor, to bring misery company. Their Misery! I do not concede to allow you to destroy others and I vow with all my heart and soul that I will shine my light, the light of truth and justice in your oh so dark corner. Your decrepit shallow hole in the world, illuminating you for what you are, so that all may see you and know that your evil shall not prevail. I will walk the Earth and promise that happiness and truth are my mission statement. Conform to the will and the light of justice or wither and die your pitiful selfs.

They spread their lies and hatred as if it were truth. They manipulate and deceive with words believing they have impunity and for too long to many of us have not brought them to justice. The crusade, my crusade, our crusade begins. You will be exposed and I do believe you will slither on your belly away.

David Carradine was a man. A man who played the character of a great man who walked the Earth bringing justice and enlightenment wherever he found injustice and darkness. I was so saddened to hear that his demons, escaped his closet and brought a tragic end to his physical life. My prayers and love go out to his family. I hope with all my heart that he has found his peace. I will miss you my friend, you brought a smile to my face and that I will always be grateful for. There are others who deserve the justice of the rope, there are others who I would have rather seen swing from the gallows pole. Wicked, wicked people…

Will Power! I wonder what it really is and is there not enough to go around. It’s amusing to me how I can stop doing pain pills, smoking crack and sniffing glue all the same day, but when I try to apply that same inner strength to something else it usually doesn’t work. What I mean is that I can use my will-power to eliminate some nasty habits out of my life like that terrible meth habit I had for three days back last week. Then after I detox and get straight, with my new found strength and wisdom, I’ll go and try and alter other areas of my life. There’s always something in life we want to improve on especially when it comes to bettering ourselves.

I’ll find myself with renewed energy and stamina and ready to change everything bad in life. What’s very abnormal though is when I attempt to use that driving force energy to excel in another area of my life that same energy dwindles and fades as if there is a limited supply. This leads me to believe that will power is a limited source of energy and/or there is an energy blockage. I’m inquisitive if any one of my dear readers experience this same conundrum.

Seriously though it happens every time. I remember right after I quit shooting up heroin into my eyeball (try it, what a great way to hide track marks) I decided it was also a good time to take up teeth brushing. I was off the juice for at least three hours and really had the urge to pick up the tooth brush, but as soon as I did it was like BAM, all of a sudden the next thing you know I have the needle in my eye and shooting a mega-dose of the juice again. The teeth were nice and sparkly clean right before they all fell out!

All joking aside though, no heroin or meth or crack, but it does seem that there are limits to drawing power from will. Does that mean we are all weak in this area or is it just me? I’ve been doing really well with nutrition, taking vitamins and juicing and eating green foods, but whenever I want to do something like going to the gym its a no go. I want to go in the morning but who wants to stay up late like I do and then get up early? I hate early mornings, I mean like hatred with a passion. I plan on going at night and I know full-well that exercise will have to be a part of this lifestyle if I want to succeed. By night time, and I mean about 11, I get tired and something comes up and then I never go. I realize I have to and beat myself up over it, but I still don’t go.

Maybe I’m a bit hesitant to go because I realize, from past experiences, that if I do go to the gym, than my nutritious lifestyle will go to hell. I have a friend, Andrea Albright, who is amazing. You can find her at www.AmazingBodyNow.com for all you female readers and she offers a true unique experience for women to get fit. She’s been there, she was overweight and now she is gorgeous and fit and trim. To bad for me her site is geared towards helping women otherwise I’d be on that. It really is that good and as a guy if you can get over her continuous references to girlfriend and lady and woman then go for it. I’ve read every book there is practically on diet and exercise, most recently the Gabriel Method, which seems intriguing, without having that success switch triggered.

It’s amazing that I am on the path to acquire my first million dollars this year and yet something even more important like my health continue to eludes me. I’m fed up and enough is enough. I will figure this will of mine out and I will empower it. I’d like to get your feedback. Haha, comments appreciated, but like most other posts most don’t comment.

I didn’t want to do it and for the longest time I didn’t bother, but if you read my last post you know that I am pushing towards making my first million dollars this year. Although I do believe the universal laws will fall into effect and the world will unfold before me with boundless opportunity, I also realize that I need to take the steps necessary and ensure I am heading in the right direction. My vibrational energy has been a bit low because, well because, I have been worried about not achieving my goal.

I’ve noticed some correlations in life that cannot be misconstrued as mere coincidence. I know that lately I have felt a bit alone in my quest, as if I am the only one in the world who understands me. This feeling has permeated my mood and lately my friends have suddenly been away thus causing me to be alone. There are times I feel like going out to the bar or Beale Street, but no one is around to go so I reluctantly stay in and end up being alone. Of course my girlfriend is around and I do lo, lov, er umm lo, lo, lo, err like her a real lot:), but now lately she has been going to family and friends away as well. When you feel lonely you will end up being lonely.

The next equation comes from feeling broke. I’m not sure why, perhaps its a lack of water, but lately I have felt tremendously low on the financial scale. With these feelings comes the very real reality that things are hitting hard financially right now. I feel like I am under a mountain of debt and because I am feeling this way, it is coming to be that way. Extenuating circumstances have caused my consulting fees to be delayed on several occasions, not a big deal in its own right, but all the same adding to the feeling of ill-will towards a very manageable situation.

When my mother died it left me $16000 in credit card debyt and every month I pay close to $600 to help pay it off. My ultimate goal is to pay about $2000 a month to eliminate it all together. My school loans are down to only $4000 and other than a few miscellaneous other bills there’s really not much. Heck the house is paid off, but I never imagined myself living in this house. It was bought to provide residual rental income and now I live there with me father. I have lived alone from my father since I was 17 and joined the US Army. I find it extremely difficult to live there in that house and at times I think about getting an apartment. I mean I am willing to move out of my own home to an apartment, you know its got to get under my skin, and it does!

He’s not really a bad guy, but the house is just to small. It would be OK for a couple, or single person, but not son and dad. Did I mention that his compulsive behavior to collect has me extremely worried. I tried to get my summer clothes out of our attic and it is filled top to bottom with junk. I’m not talking junk that you can turn around and sell, but junk that people toss away to Goodwill just to get rid of. In Memphis there is a Goodwill outlet store. This basically means that Goodwill cant sell it in there second hand store, so they bring it out in big giant carts filled with junk into the outlet store. It started as a hobby for dad, just so he could get out and do something, but now its bordering mental illness. He is bringing home only a few bags a week, but the problem with that is there is no outlet to get rid of it. So it packs into the attic, under the beds, in the closets, anywhere there is space and even where there is none to be found. It piles up, more and more until finally someone has to do something about it.

The last couple of years he would have a garage sale, but that’s come to pass as well. They are so much work and take so much time and effort they just are not worth it. Finally after the last time he came to the same conclusion after prepping for a full two weeks and then a full three days of hard-work and not making more than $500 after expenses. I apologize for the rant, but its my blog so tough crap! Deal with it.

I really don’t mind him living with me, but I need my space and I want a BIG house with a restaurant quality kitchen, swimming pool, jacuzzi, big old yard, deck, lots of rooms, basically a mansion. I am unable to do that at this stage unless something changes. Oh and I want a new M6 BMW with the V12, but I can’t without having a garage with plenty of space for all my toys. I like my toys.

The reason I say all this is because I am on the path and I am now monetizing my life. Read, enjoy

I’ve been doing it, I really have. I think it took some awful intense times in my life, but I have said enough is enough and made the change. I ask myself whenever I do something now is it going to take me towards my goals. I am eating healthy, exercising and on the path to self-reliance through health. I finally figured it out that I needed to hit rock bottom before I could start climbing back out. I hit that rock bottom and now the climb is in full momentum. One step following another and it takes me forward on the path to my goals.

I know the direction I must go, and I am on the path, but the question now comes up with other things. Am I in the right forest? Sure I am heading in the right direction but this compels me to ask myself where else I need to make the changes that will ultimately lead me in the direction of my goal.

In the beginning of this year I set a goal that I would make my first million dollars and somehow I seem ever distant from achieving that goal. I know the universe is supposed to unfold before me and my job is not to limit the universe presenting that goal to me, but I also know that I am supposed to focus on achieving that goal. This is where currently I am struggling. How is it I am supposed to be focused on that goal driving myself ever closer when things around me get tougher and tougher.

With my health I know how to achieve it. I can control the foods I eat, the exercise I do, the lifestyle I choose, but with finances it seems so much more impossible, especially when things are not where they need to be. The economy sucks and it is directly affecting my lifestyle. With everything that’s happening I have to ask myself if staying the course is going to pull me away or help me achieve that success I desire.

I wonder if anyone has any thoughts on this?

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes
© 2010 JunkyFungus Media Group Believe! Suffusion WordPress theme by Sayontan Sinha