Stop Scratching the Surface! There’s more to life…

Chicks, Inner Game, Life Artistry, Personal Avatar No Responses »
Jan 062009

I’ve gotten some pretty eye raising comments from some of my fellow friends in the Pick-Up community when I tell them that JunkyFungus has quit Pick-Up and will pursue life instead. Many of my friends kind of looked at me as if I had 17 eyes. One friend threatened to slap the holy bejesus out of me, another commenter said I finally figured it out, and yet another screamed “Yes, Yes” and it wasn’t even during sex. Actually the last one was when I was on the phone with her and I think I might have gone a little bit deaf.

What amazed me most was that there were two trains of thought when I announced my intentions. One, from 99% men was of astonishment and near anger. How could I do something like this? Was something messed up in my inner game? Did I have a brain tumor I was wearing a hat to hide? The other 99% females was it’s about time! You must have figured out woman really want romance, blah, blah, blah… Yeah I’m listening to that CRAP!

First off I didn’t say I was going to roll up my cock and put it away somewhere in cold storage. I didn’t say I was going to stop fucking every chick that met my fancy, and sure as hell I aint stopping loving that wonderful Pink and Squishy, warm and wet, soft and enveloping area of a woman us men call a pussy:). I’m not sure what idiot dreamed all this up, but fuck, get your head out your ass. OK enough of the cursing for this blog. One of my goals is to stop cursing so much and start lying more.

Anyway I figured it would be understood why I was leaving PUA behind and start thinking more forward, but I was wrong. You see, to me Pick-Up is very limited in its thinking. I mean I know a bunch of Pick Up Artists that are considered masters in their fields. There are guys who I always seem to really connect with and have an understanding of them more than I do of others. I mean I like Mystery and guys like him, but I can’t say that he would be my friend if we lived close. I wouldn’t say guys like that wouldn’t either but I’m more inclined to natural guys who don’t use gimmicks and tricks to get what they want, but more like people like Alex Alman and Jae Ellis. Some of the nicest guys I have met in pick-up and normal too.

I see guys who attempt to be someone else when they do pick-up, someone fake, just to get laid and sorry my friends, getting laid is all its about. There are times for sex, and yeah I will admit, it most of the time, but to get interesting, you need to be interested. Let me repeat that, to get interesting, you need to be interested. The passionate confident male is always interested in interesting things. Its about taking in what life has to offer and appreciating it. I felt limited with this respect doing pick-up!

It started out as a life lesson when I read DYD from David D and then Mystery. I made that connection that so many of us do. Lets face it, many guys just don’t get it at all! The thing was though as my game got better and better on the outside, I noticed that more and more things on the inside started creeping and crawling until my inner game was filled with creepy crawlers eating at my brain. It almost seems like an oxymoron, but gaming women was corrupting my personal confidence. I believe I was starting to become more and more ingrained into being a pick-up artist rather than living and experiencing life to its fullest.

I have seen so many guys in this niche start to loose their identities in the hopes of becoming a ladies man, but I challenge this notion. Isn’t one of the reasons you got into pick-up was because you were deserving a relationship. Now it just seems like everything you are doing is about gaming, while your personal identity slips away. I have seen many a man, good people, completely change and become someone else. I am not anybody else, I am just JunkyFungus, but a whole lot smarter than I was a couple of years ago. Of course I plan to fuck my way through Memphis, but at the same time I plan to also seek out life.

Stop being something that you aren’t. Don’t let pick up consume your life, let life consume the pick up. Enjoy.

Posted by SteveO at 9:20 pm Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Time For Change, But Will It Happen!

Inner Game, Life Artistry, Nutrition/Health 1 Response »
Nov 132008

Last night I went through some personal shit again in my game and I wanted to get it out in the open. I’ve been doing a lot of work with some of the best Pick-Up Artists in the world. I have been in contact with many of them for a good while and they have been helping me with my game. It’s nice to have telephone support from guys whose game is just off the hook. Whenever I am in a jam and have no idea how to progress I can just pick up the Iphone and give them a call. It’s helped me through some times when I just would have not known what to do next.

I mentioned in my last few blog posts that I was suffering with a bad case of Approach Anxiety in any bar. I was determined to beat it and so I’ve been going out the last few nights. On Tuesday I went out to a few bars, there was really not a thing going on, but even so there were a couple of sets I could have opened. My Pick-Up friends will tell you that you don’t have to do pick-up every night, but for me its crucial that I do. To many excuses can be made to not and that was just another excuse for me. I didn’t approach and therefore I didn’t work on my inner game issue of AA.

Last night I went to the Downtown Saucer and when I got there I was determined to open a set. I was the first one there and like clockwork I found a mixed four set. There were two brunettes and two dudes. I was going to use the UFO cub machine and then turn to open them, but the machine was not working. Since they were right there it was the perfect situational opener. I had the two dudes jumping through my compliance hoops trying to get the machine to work. I made friends of them and then opened the obstacle. Easy work!

I managed to isolate the target and get her to comply by moving over to the machine. I had my arm around her, things were moving smoothly. Great right? Nope, because all of a sudden my inner-game issues came a burbling to the top like a giant gas bubble from the cesspool of my darkest recesses. Disgusting right? You damn right it is and annoying too! I could have had that girl easy. She was mine for the taking and those guys never would have known what happened. It wasn’t meant to be though as like I said, my inner game was screaming at me: “JunkyFungus, you can’t have this girl. She is a babe and you’re just fat. She’s going to laugh at you when you move in for a kiss. She’ll pull away and the whole bar will laugh. Ahahahaa I’m even laughing at you. I love you JunkyFungus, listen to me, its your inner voice speaking. There’s no getting away from me. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

Spooky right? Yeah my mind can be just as twisted as yours.

My inner game was screaming with an issue I have been trying to beat for the longest time. Strike that, I have been trying to kick the shit out of for the longest time. Every time I try and get a step ahead, I keep getting that horrible voice challenging me, calling me out on my shit, and putting me down. Many of us have antagonists in our lives, but how many of those antagonists are their own selves. It’s like self-depreciating, self-pity, self-hatred all rolled up in a nice warm bun of mental illness. But every time I try and do something about it, every time I make great progress with women, every time I join a gym, every time I go on a diet, every time I take an action to shut that nagging voice the hell up, it comes back stronger and stronger.

I can’t get away from it, or can I? I remember reading in:
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials)
that if you publicize any of your problems or goals, you are more like to achieve them. I’m hoping this works, because I’m about at wits end with this one. I’ve said it already, but in case you missed it, my inner game is screaming at me about my weight issue. Again though, I’ve joined a gym: I pay $30 a month for a two year membership thats already 7 months old and I’ve gone maybe a months worth. I’ve gone on diets, I’ve committed myself before. My second blog post: Ice At The End Of My Straw was all about this same thing. When I was in Los Angeles in January I met the most awesomist Yoga and Life Coach ever. I read her blog daily and she inspired me so much, but why still today is this commitment so elusive?

I ask, maybe as a rhetorical question, but feedback is appreciated, because maybe someone with insight can answer. Is there something wrong with me. I was on a diet once and I had lost nearly 50 lbs and was looking terrific. I was working out every day and life was looking good, and then clear, out of the blue, without reason I just stopped. No reason, except maybe personal sabotage. Do you know, because I sure as hell don’t.

I do know, in my own mind, my inner game is screaming at me. It’s telling me that no woman wants a guy who can’t take care of himself. Shit man, I got mad game! I sleep with lots of women and I’ve had some of the hottest women in Memphis in my bed. I’m an ALPHA mother fucker and I know it, but this inner game, my inner game is all fucked up and needing assistance.

This is my commitment, this is my public announcement of my goal, my Influence changing, life altering pledge to myself that I need to get this area in my life under control. I was able to accomplish what I never thought I would be able to accomplish. I am a master PUA, I am ALPHA, I am going to be famous. By God I am in control of my life.

My friends, I humbly ask you to keep my pledge to you, to me in check.

Posted by SteveO at 9:05 pm Tagged with: , , , , , , ,

Making Excuses! Sometimes I just don’t get myself…

Inner Game No Responses »
Jul 252008

I went out with my friend last night to the Roof Top party at the Peabody hotel for some entertainment purposes. Basically that means we went to pick up women. Normally I do very well and use any approach anxiety I might have as a adrenaline rush to push me into talking to the very thing I fear. It works well for me and I have been getting very good at what I do.

So last week when I went to this party I got very drunk off Jaeger Bombs with my buddy. I met some cool people and had a grand old time. It was odd because I didn’t want to drink that night and yet I did. A lot at that too. I spent $40 bucks on Jaeger shots at $2 a pop. And then there was the wine. Lots and lots of wine. Regardless of not wanting to drink I did drink and got very drunk as I have pointed out. I was a bit disappointed in myself that night, but we live to fight another day.

Last night I went and I said I would only, maybe have a few beers. I did and yet for some reason I just stood around and picked only really easy sets to open. I wasn’t making excuses about it, that’s the weird part. I just didn’t feel like opening anybody and yet I know this in itself is an excuse. I knew exactly what was happening and even at one point said to myself and catalyst, my wingman, that I was comfortable.

Who wants to be fucking comfortable when there are babes everywhere? Sometimes my mind just wins out and I sit there and lose. I get frustrated when this happens especially when I tell myself that I need to pull out and get the job done. All day I psyche myself up to do the job and meet women. Anyone who has known me at all for any length of time knows I surround myself with beautiful women. I know I am a good looking guy and yet in my head some wires are fizzling and shorting out.

I think I have come to understand now though that perhaps I am my own worst enemy by trying to psyche myself up. I should just let what happens happen. I know I shouldn’t go out drinking and sarging as this is too easily done. I can pick up any women when I am buzzed, but I want to be able to pick up women when I am not. I need to be the same charismatic SteveO I am when I am doing th interviews for the show. It can be done and it will be done.

Posted by SteveO at 7:50 pm Tagged with: ,

The Long Awaited OxyTocin Report

Inner Game 2 Responses »
Jul 172008

A good friend of mine made me up a nasal spray of OxyTocin and I have been researching the effects over the last two months. I wanted to be sure about my research before I reported on it. The bottle is comprised of 20 IU OxyTocin per 1/2 fluid ounce, mixed with a nasal decongestant in an inhaler. From what I understand most human research includes 24 IU (per dose) and as such my entire bottle is less than one standard human dose. A note about “standard” dose is what I have been told that is the current therapeutic dose for the treatment of Autism with Oxytocin.

I have been using the nasal inhaler now for 43 days and I am on my second bottle. The first bottle had a little spillage when it was being made, therefore I can only conclude the actual IU’s are skewed, but not by much. When I initially started I used three sprays 4 days a week and experienced dramatic interesting results.

Immediate was the suitableness of the drug as it coursed right to my brain. It didn’t act like a WOW effect, but it just kind of crept in. The feeling is more like I feel OK and I’m OK with feeling OK. I could tell that something was happening those first few days and yet at the same time it wasn’t overwhelming to any of my other senses. It didn’t make me feel any better when I disagreed, or was angry with another. However I did notice, almost immediately but even more so with continued regular usage, that I was starting to trust my own self. Whereas previously without the Oxytocin I always would doubt myself after an argument: maybe I was wrong, maybe I did do that, I shouldn’t have done that… The experiment brought me to understand the complexities of the argument/disagreement and as such I was comfortable with my viewpoint and trusted in myself enough to stand and make my mark in the sand. I wasn’t going to back down, I would admit if I was wrong, but I was realizing that I was right and it was alright to be right and even if this meant the other person was not OK with it, I had enough trust in myself to say its OK no matter what happens.

After a week of testing I went up to four sprays 7 days a week. I didn’t notice anything other than more trust and a propensity to want to trust others, but if I didn’t trust them or if the lost my trust then I would quickly anger with them easier. Not a violent anger, but anger about them not being trustworthy. I have been recording my calls with most service companies for quite a while so that I may gauge and judge their service departments and I was amazed to hear how quickly I became regurgitated by a customer service rep sounding bored or non-caring about my job.

AT one point after about three weeks of everyday use, the friend who asked me to test the Oxytocin asked me to stop cold and see f their were any adverse effects from stopping all of a sudden. I noticed none at all. However I will say that this batch, my second bottle, I am back down to 4 days a week and after this break (my thrid day today) I am noticing that I am easily agitated at almost anything. I have been feeling a bit ill and rundown these three days, but that variable might simply be coincidence and I would assume it would be since this was not a factor ever before.

On the one hand my trust and therefore respect in myself has increased exponentially, but my quickness to be judgmental of others who I don’t believe are trustworthy has jumped a notch. Where as before without Oxytocin I gave the benefit of the doubt to most people, now I trust myself more and perhaps tend to trust others, but am quick to lose that trust and count more on my own gut feelings. An interesting concept that needs to be explored more.

As of right now the jury is still out on continued use of Oxytocin as a ritual to build self-trusting. There is evidence in my book that the effects are beneficial, but I’m still a bit perplexed by my agitated state of recent, but as I already mentioned, there are many variables that could have thrown this off. I will continue to test and report back as I know more.

Posted by SteveO at 2:14 am Tagged with: , , , ,

Pushing the envelope. Progress through challenge!

Life Artistry No Responses »
May 072008

I decided that I wanted to re-read the VAH handbook and it has made all the difference in my progress. When I was in San Diego a few weeks ago I was talking to Blitz, Mystery’s wingman, about some techniques and game. He picked right up on the deficiencies in my game and asked me when the last time I read the Mystery Method. It has been at least a year and he said he was always amazed that aspiring PUA’s have all the basics in the book and yet only read it once.

I guess he is right though, as since I have started reading it again it has opened my eyes to everything I haven’t been doing or have just forgot. I also have noticed the more time that had elapsed between readings the less and less I was actually pushing myself to open sets. I was taking the easy way out and after so much effort that was not going to be acceptable.

This past weekend was just incredible. It started on Wednesday and ended early this Monday morning. Yeah I’m tired and my throat is sore from all the yelling, I’m hung over and not feeling very motivated today but there is something else going on too. Normally a day that I am beat and feeling it I would have dreaded going anywhere. Maybe through on some shorts and a T-shirt and a hat and off to StarBucks not really caring about appearances, or even worse just staying home.

Not this time! Oddly enough I was yearning to get out, even though I am super tired and not feeling very social I still busted out the ironing board, pressing even my shorts. Avatar is who I am and I am ALPHA and as an ALPHA I am confident and am always aware of whats around me.

So how does this all tie into reading the VAH book again? It’s really simple. I’ve been relearning the skills that brought me so much success and with those skills come responsibility. Not so much to anyone else, but more to myself. First impressions start with myself and as such they start internally. This internalization has caused a spark inside me to ignite the inner fire of challenge. You see I believe that theory is only power if we can transpose it to application and application can only take us as far as we are willing to push the envelope.

Last night I closed an HB9 and I’ll say that she was easily that because she had drive that makes me want to be around her. Sure she is a Beer Goddess at the Beale Street Flying Saucer and yeah the more she flirts and talks the more tip she gets. The difference is just how far I was willing to challenge her to be a challenge to me. I set myself up, not as a customer, but as a fun guy who made her laugh and cry and feel frustrations, heat, sadness, love and many other emotions each time she came around. She didn’t know what to expect of me every time she came by.

I watched her interact with many other tables last night and every guy was just falling over themselves to appease the babe. They made it a point to thank her and tip her and ask her “normal” questions. SteveO challenged her to serve him better than any of the other waitresses there. Be something different than the typical customer, make an impression. The only way you get better at something is when you push things to the extreme even at the risk of failing. After all is it failing if we learn and can then push further next time?

I watched as every guy watched mine and her interaction and for the first time in my life I heard a guy call me an asshole to his buddy. He said I wouldn’t get anywhere with her, or something to that matter. Funny thing was that guy was me many years ago. The nice guy, the follower, abiding by the rules, but always alone.

Our table was the wildest and the drinks and conversation were flowing. Pictures were flashing, our loudness was the loudest and all my lair friends were working the room. At the end of the night everyone knew us and some dude hater snickered to his friend on what an asshole I was. When I came back from the bathroom Jennifer had taken my unsigned charge slip and gave it to a friend. I called her a punk ass and stared her down until she smiled. I smiled and caught dude hater looking in awe as I said I like your style kid. Write down your info for me. I watched as every guy in the room stood in awe as Jennifer, the hottest one in their without question, took a beer coaster and wrote the info down. With a big smile she hands it off and I grab the pen from her and say I’m keeping this as ransom. She smiles and tells me she is going to get her pen back and that she guarantees it. I say deal and walk off. When I passed the table of dude hater I say loud for him to hear it,”Yep I’m an asshole.”

None of this would have happened if I didn’t challenge myself to challenge myself in everything I do.

Posted by SteveO at 12:34 am Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,

Inner Game

Inner Game No Responses »
Jul 172007

You might have read that in order to have a good game you need to have a solid inner game. To most extents this is true, but some would say to get a complete control over your inner game first. This to me, is false and can lead to a confused PUA with no game at all.

There are many things you could do to build your inner game up, but unless those steps are applied to real life situations are you simply spinning your wheels? I was reading a post on VAH forum that is interesting and got me to thinking on the progress I have made and what steps I have taken.

When I first started in PUA I originally bought David DeAngelo’s Double Your Dating eBook and it taught how to be cocky and funny which in turn built confidence in myself. I remember many years ago (source unknown) reading a paper on women and overcoming shyness. I was never shy with anyone, but I did always have a self value issue. I believed that anyone who could be so beautiful would have to be better than me. This paper I read dispelled that belief by telling me to smack my ass. The feeling I get from smacking my own ass is exactly the same feeling Paris Hilton gets from smacking her own ass. Albeit I have a nicer ass and the blue ribbon to prove it! Of course the analogy used another models name as Paris wasn’t even alive yet, but you get the picture.

I think back now and all the work I have done and 25 years later for the first time I recognize how correct those words actually were. There is a natural progression to human development and for me it was reading DeAngelo’s eBook that changed my life. I was always funny, and knew intrinsically that if I could get a girl to laugh I could get into her pants.

The problem with this ideology is that while laughter is always a commendable trait to carry, it is not by itself a way to a womens panties. No my friends, comedy will get people laughing and get you the reputation of being the funny guy, but without confidence it is simply comedy.

By instilling cocky into the mix and for the first time understanding why I actually opened up a doorway. Just the cocky comedy wasn’t enough though. You can be the cockiest/funniest man alive but again without confidence it means nothing. I new I was on the right path, but I could feel the lacking inside me. My inner game still put women on a higher value than myself and something needed to be done.

I don’t believe I would have taken the plunge and bought David DeAngelo’s Deep Inner Game if I didn’t truly seek change in myself and knew it could be done. The 7 DVD series was a long and arduous journey that began my quest to like myself. It was the first time I can remember, EVER, in my life actually sitting back and liking myself.

I ask members of our lair how many of you actually like themselves? It seems like it would be such an obvious answer, but dig deep and find the answer. Some of you are lying to yourself and others about who you are and what you are doing. It’s easier said then done my friends. So again, sit down and ask yourself if you like who you are?

Another instance of my development has come in being a wingman for my friends. I have learned so much from observations. Again there was a time in my life I was so in despair with who I was any type of IOI from a woman would throw me into a jealous rage if someone else tried to hook up with her. She isn’t my property, I don’t own her. I was so filled with weakness that my mental picture already drawn out was me by myself and her with someone else. After all I believed she had higher value than I.

It’s amazing the progression I have made as a man. DeAngelo’s Deep Inner Game is not recommended for those who are seeking a quick fix. It is a journey that requires work. Work that unless you commit yourself to before you begin will not help you. If you are one of those people who sink money into products in the hopes that your purchase will motivate you I highly recommend you do not buy this product. It’s not for you.

Very soon after utilizing the tool box of Deep Inner Game I remembered that paper I mentioned earlier, the one about smacking your ass. For the first time in my life I took a long-hard look at who I was and what I wanted. I didn’t like myself! It was the most difficult thing I ever did to look in the mirror and stay there and pick out my qualities that I did like. As time passed I began to see a different image of who I was. After much soul-searching I began to emerge as a confident man.

My confidence was earned in my own actions. It took every fiber of my existence to recognize those things I didn’t like about myself and change those feelings of distaste into feelings of complete worthiness and love for myself.

Are there things I would change about myself? NOT A DAMN THING! I love me…

In recognizing the love and adoration I have for myself I begin a new journey where things that aren’t necessarily healthy are changing anyway. I have a weight issue, that is a part of me, but I do not dislike my weight, no in-fact, I love my size, but by loving myself completely these things that I used to strive to change will change anyway. I just have to be me and love what I do, which intrinsically triggers a reaction that provokes healthy change inside of me equaling a greater sense of pride and confidence in myself.

I began to read everything I could about self-image at a very young age and I believe that self-help books can be a detriment to ones own self worth. Our personal images can spiral out of control if by reading self help books we keep telling ourselves that we are not perfect as we are. If we are telling ourselves that we can change and need to change than by proxy we are saying we are not happy who we are and thus cannot unequivocally love ourselves.

The difference in reading books and trying to change is many books have you start and finish on the inside. I believe this to be a fallacy! You can read until your blue in the face, but as Mystery himself preaches, the work is done in the field. Books add structure, but unless you are willing to go out in the field and apply you will fail. When PFC and I talk about failing to succeed I think we erroneously portray our learning from failures when they are not. Success is not bread from failure, it is bred from the strength of going out prepared to find every conceivable way not to do something so the true way to success becomes self-evident.

When we are in set we do not fail, but we learn how not to use a FTC so next time our FTC is stronger until such time as our FTC is perfected. This is not failure by any standards it is success built upon the confident man challenging himself to succeed whatever it takes.

I challenge lair members to ask yourselves if you love yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you love you. Did you say it with meaning?

The next time you see a beautiful babe you want, don’t get AA, just smack your ass and realize she will feel exactly the same thing if she smacked her own ass too. Now visualize you smacking her ass and approach.

You can use many of the tools available to work on your inner game, but truthfully it all starts inside with you recognizing where your faults are and falling in love with those faults. Recognize and love them and they will change themselves.

Respect

Posted by SteveO at 9:51 am Tagged with: , , ,
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