Already my intention to lay into the easy brunt of all jokes, that stupid mother-fucker the devil. He’s a punk ass that doesn’t even look good, let alone know the first thing about how to be a god. Now we already have discovered Jesus was a mPUA and banged his way all across Rome. It was the reason they crucified his ass, but no worries, he came back in three days and laid some more. In fact all through out history Jesus has been reincarnated, take Don Juan, Elvis, Robert Plant, Mystery, me and I’m sure a few others whose names elude me. But the devil, he was an AFC that watched down from the big pussy mound in the sky, looking down on all these mere mortals. That’s the difference my loyal readers: Jesus is a God, the devil is an AFC.

The bible has it all wrong! It’s written to control masses of people and as such they need to control those masses. Have sex, make love, fuck the hoe next stoe, you’ll burn in hell. You should only procreate with your wife and only when you are planning children. We can’t have an army of children who might grow up one day into men and out-ALPHA the king. Too many men in the city means to many conflicting opinions, to many conflicting opinions means war! That’s right kiddies, now sit around the fire and listen and lets listen in as JunkyFungus tells us a story about the night before Christmas. Except its his style and most of you will not want to hear what he has to stay.

The bible was manufactured by man, because man knew how to psychologically manipulate himself. The underpinning of faith runs through the bible. It feeds on mans desire, that if they stay prostrate, tithe, listen to the ridiculous dogmas of man made rules as long as they still have faith, even in the most difficult of times God will shine down on them. Bullshit you idiots. God didn’t make you to look down upon you, he made you to fuck. That’s right the old man in the sky is as big a perv as you know you are.

So now we come to satan, lord of the dark-world. Why do you think its dark? I’ll tell you why! Hell gets all the nasty freaky mother fuckers who wouldn’t make it in this world. It gets the ug bitches you wouldn’t even fuck. The nasty fat skanks whose hands are caked in the cream filling of Twinkies. The wretched, the retards, the losers, the social rejects. Don’t want to end up in hell? Master the game fucker, get your head out your ass, go to the gym, clear up that disgusting acne and get out their and approach. You should be scared as a blond in the ghetto, a straight dude on Castro street whose about to get ass-raped by ten drug crazed queers, a virgin whose boyfriend has ten inches. It should scare the living shit out of you! It’s dark down there for a reason and its not hot either. Its colder than hell LOL.

The religious zealots, who are so fucked up to not even realize religion was to control the masses as a way to not overthrow the king, will tell you the devil is bad. You damn right the devil was bad. He was so bad he couldn’t get any of the millions of free human gash down on Earth. I mean he was the most beautiful angel in all gods creation. He was made in perfection and I’m telling you was also the biggest AFC I ever met. Yeah I met him a few times. He stared back at me for years as I watched my friends fuck every piece of tail in town while me and satan whacked off to porn at home. I watched through his eyes and cried myself to sleep as all my girls had their legs pinned behind their ears. screaming as they were fucked to high-heaven.

That’s what satan wants you to do, thats why he’s associated himself with rape. He can’t get that shit on his own, so bitch got to go and rape someone. When he was in heaven looking down, he’d be the angel standing in the corner with his arms folded, not making eye contact, a sad frown, his dick properly tucked between his ass-cheeks. All the while God was getting Mary pregnant with a true ALPHA, Jesus.

Lucifer tried to get the minions to go against god and would preach, its not right. Don’t have sex, don’t corrupt that chick, don’t tell her to shop at Vickies Secrets, don’t, don’t, don’t! He would bitch, like a whiney three year old all day, moping around crying himself to sleep. But he was horny, he was very horny and jerking off wasn’t cutting it. So one day he got up the balls and started reading himself some DYD by David D. He learned cocky funny and thought he was ALPHA. He challenged the ALPHA himself and got PUNKED! God had enough of his shit and cast him and his minions off the great pussy mound in  the sky straight out of Compton, err I mean heaven. Although you will most likely want to believe god sent his ass to the asshole of the world, you’d be wrong. Nope the asshole would have significant usage for other things besides shitting years later when JunkyFungus came along. So God cast lucifer into the armpit of all humanity. Smelly, hairy and not really useful for sex.